I recently went one on one with Adam Marr. Adam is the co-founder of the Warrior Angels Foundation, a 501c3 providing treatment, outreach, education, and research for Traumatic Brain Injury. Adam is a former Army Aviation Officer, AH-64 Apache Helicopter Pilot, and Veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Adam is co-author of TALES FROM THE BLAST FACTORY: A Brain Injured Special Forces Green Beret’s Journey Back from the Brink, which was the basis for the recently released documentary "Quiet Explosions: Healing the Brain.”

Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. How did you get here? What experiences, failures, setbacks or challenges have been most instrumental to your growth?

Adam Marr: First and foremost, thank you for the invitation Adam. You are having a profound impact through your work and it’s my pleasure to be here today. I have arrived here today by way of my past military experience as an Apache Helicopter Pilot and Army Officer, as a family member of someone who almost died from the effects of Traumatic Brain Injury, as Co-founder of Warrior Angels Foundation which provides treatment, education, and research for head injuries, as the Co-Author of TALES FROM THE BLAST FACTORY which was the basis for the movie QUIET EXPLOSIONS: Healing the Brain which you can stream on Amazon.  I also have been an Organizational & Human Capital Transformation Executive for Accenture Consulting but most importantly of all I am a Husband and Father, all of these core events and efforts have helped shaped my perspective on life to date.

Single handedly, both personally and professionally, the largest failure, setbacks, and challenges that have all been most influential to my growth have come through my brothers’ injury from TBI and the work we have pursued as a result via the Warrior Angels Foundation. The personal side has been well accounted for, so a bit on the professional challenges and growth. I have turned down two separate promotions on two separate occasions to pursue our non-profit work.  It was never an easy decision and always lead to personal financial challenges for my family, but I did it because I knew it was the single most important thing post military that I could put my efforts into.  What it gave me in return was a sense of purpose after the military, a sense of appreciation for my life, my brother's life and the lives of those we were impacting.

In service of that purpose, I got the opportunity to be an entrepreneur with a garage start-up non-profit, probably one of the most difficult business models to choose from.  In doing so, I cultivated a valuable set of business skills to accompany the intangible leadership qualities gained form almost a decade of military service. It is the combination of these elements that led me to a career at Accenture where I formed an understating and expertise to help deliver large scale transformational change within organizations.  The reward is that I get to continually pour what I learn back into our non-profit in service our mission.  Many great things have come from one of the worst times my family's life and that may very well be one of the single greatest lesson I can share with others.

Adam: What do you hope people take away from your book and from the documentary?

Adam Marr: First and foremost, I want individuals that are suffering from the effects of head injury and head trauma to take away a better understanding of what they are going through. I want them to feel a sense of comfort that they are not alone and a sense of relief that this injury is no longer a life sentence. Secondly, I want the family and friends of the injured to find peace by gaining an understanding of their loved one’s injury and hope in the stories of others who have overcome it. 

When my brother, Green Beret Andrew Marr, was medically retired from the Army Special Forces in 2014, all we really knew was that out of nowhere he started to fall apart mentally and physically, beyond that we really didn’t know what was happening. He looked all ok on the outside, no missing limbs, no burns, or anything that would visibly show he was injured. It was like, all of a sudden you have this elite performer, who slowly starts becoming a shell of the person they once were, but you don’t really know why.

You see, as a Special Forces Breacher, Andrew was a trained explosives technician, exposed to hundreds of blasts both in combat and training, just a part of the job we thought. What we later learned is that every blast he was exposed to has a culminating effect on his brain, each time shearing the nerves and disrupting neuro synapses, causing inflammation of the brain, and disrupting his hormone production and regulation thus throwing his entire body in a death spiral. 

Six years ago, this information essentially didn’t exist, or at least not to the average person looking for answers, at least not anywhere we could find. Trust me we looked. When your life is starting to unravel and you have no idea why, it’s about the worst thing that can happen to an individual. Just to finally know what’s going on, just to know what is wrong is a blessing, but then on top of that to learn you can heal from this injury and get better...well that’s why we wrote TALES FROM THE BLAST FACTORY and that’s why we are telling not just my brother's story but the story of 9 others affected by head injury and their process of recovery in the movie QUIET EXPLOSIONS.  It’s pretty surreal to have your work available to stream on Amazon, highlighting one of the worst times in your family’s life, but we know the story and information will help save lives, so we are very excited for the impact it will have.

Adam: What are the best lessons you learned from your time in the military?

Adam Marr: I had an incredible Battalion Commander by the name of Paul Mele during my initial Platoon Leader time in the Army.  I have never had a leader invest in me and develop me more than that man did in those 18 months. I would like to think that I was special and received these professional developments because he saw something in me, but the truth is, he invested into all his officers equally. One document he prepared for us was called the Junior Leader Keys to success. I call back on it every now and then and think how fortunate I was at such an impressionable stage in my development to receive this guidance.  I think we explored each of the tenants below in excruciating detail and thus over time, I came to strive to embody these traits as part of my core leadership capabilities. These are tenants that still continue to serve me in the organization and leadership roles I carry out today. 

1.     Remember it’s not about you

2.     Don’t worry about the job you are in, just do your best

3.     Look for 360 degree validation…not just up

4.     Learn to communicate effectively, concisely, candidly

5.     Get outside your comfort zone; gain experience and confidence

6.     Establish your bonafides:

a.     Don’t confuse proximity with contribution

b.     Do what you say you are going to do

c.      Aggressively listen

d.     Solve problems

e.     Be there – especially when it’s miserable

f.       Perception = reality

7.     Be their leader first and always; be their friend when able

8.     You manage the clock; use it wisely

9.     Go the extra step and become the leader they all want to work for

When you are commanding, leading [Soldiers] under conditions where physical exhaustion and privations must be ignored; where the lives of [Soldiers] may be sacrificed, then, the efficiency of your leadership will depend only to a minor degree on your tactical or technical ability. It will primarily be determined by your character, your reputation, not so much for courage—which will be accepted as a matter of course—but by the previous reputation you have established for fairness, for that high-minded patriotic purpose, that quality of unswerving determination to carry through any military task assigned you.

General of the Army George C. Marshall

Speaking to officer candidates (1941)

Adam: What are the best lessons you have learned from leading a non-profit organization?

Adam Marr:  You will never raise enough money and you will never be able to provide all the help that is needed.  These were incredibly hard lessons to learn.  If I can just raise 200k, 2mil, 20mil etc. then it will all be ok. Watch out because that can lead to focusing too much on the wrong areas.  Instead, say how will I ensure operational excellence to enable every dollar has maximum effect and impact on the mission.  Similarly, thinking that your organization can do it all by its lonesome can be equally treacherous. No man or woman is an island, and neither is your non-profit or organization. Look to support mutually aligned organizations and you will find it very may well strengthen yours and your offerings.

Adam: In your experience, what are the defining qualities of an effective leader?

Adam Marr: Humbled servant.  Every leader should strive to be a humble servant leader.  We don’t need egotistical, tyrannical, self-serving individuals in positions of leadership. We need leaders to relentlessly put the needs of the team and the organization ahead of themselves.  Reduce obstacles and barriers, listen aggressively and give your people a voice, show them that their input matters, and take care of them, you will be amazed at what you will accomplish together.

Adam: How can leaders and aspiring leaders take their leadership skills to the next level?

Adam Marr: Take time to reflect and self-assess. We can be so forward looking and thinking, moving from the next goal or objective to the next. I have always found great insight into myself and my teams by taking the time to better dissect both success and failures.  Honestly, I think we do a better job of this with failures than success. If we succeed that means it worked right, I think there is a lot of value in taking time to understand why it worked and how that can be replicated for future success.

Adam: What are your three best tips applicable to entrepreneurs, executives and civic leaders?

Adam:

1. It’s never too early to lift your head up, look how far you have come, and realize that you have valuable insight, knowledge, and lessons learned that can help benefit someone else. Share freely and often.

2.     Nothing in this life worth having or lasting ever came quick and easy, at least not in my life.  Set your goals and work feverishly towards them but don’t expect that one donation, one deal, one interview, one hire will change everything in an instant. 

3.     There is no end-state, only milestones along your journey. And while you’re on that journey, try to find time to be present in the moment instead of living in future anticipation or past reflection. 

Adam: What is your best advice on building, leading and managing teams?

Adam: I think the single most import piece of advice I can offer on building, leading, and managing teams is to build authentic relationships with those teams. We are working and collaborating in this digitally decentralized world more than we ever have in human history. We are on more calls, more meetings, and sitting at computers longer than ever before.  Right now, we are physically interacting with other humans less than we ever have. Building authentic relationships means that you bring your true authentic self to work and ask other to do the same. It might mean that you provide permission and understanding when one of your employees says they won’t be available from 8-10am on Tue/Thur because they have to take the 3yr old to day care for a 9:15am drop off across town so the other parent can help the 1st grader log from session to session for virtual school. You might be amazed at what kind of impact and support you get from your employees when build authentic relationships and meet their needs authentically.

Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received?

Adam: Whether or not you think you can, or you can’t, your right. I would almost venture to say this is the secret to life. I truly believe that the mind is the most powerful resource in existence.  There is hard science that support one’s ability to manifest what you focus your thoughts, beliefs, and actions on. If I have already committed to myself that I cannot do something, well then, I’ve already settled it haven’t I? If conversely, I focus my thoughts and energy on, “I can” then barring any law of physics being broken, you keep it within the realm of the possible. We should live in an “I can” state as often as possible.

Adam: Is there anything else you would like to share?

Adam: Be excellent!