Enjoy the Process: Interview with Alison Bruhn and Delia Folk, Co-Founders of The Style That Binds Us
I recently spoke to Alison Bruhn and Delia Folk. Mother and daughter, Alison and Delia are the co-founders of The Style That Binds Us, a fashion-forward lifestyle brand and community for women.
Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. How did you get here? What experiences, failures, setbacks or challenges have been most instrumental to your growth?
Alison: As an empty nester, I realized that although my primary job of raising children might be over, my desire to help others was still of great importance to me. After much research, I found an Image Consulting certification program at F.I.T. (Fashion Institute of Technology in New York), signed up and loved every minute of my studies there. At age 50, I became a personal stylist. I realized pretty quickly that it’s not as much about dressing women, as it is about giving them encouragement, a sense of independence and strength. As women, we spend our lives supporting others, often at the great expense of losing our own sense of self. We are taught that self-care is self-centered, and I want to change this perception. Oprah was one of the first women to give us permission to shift our focus inward, and I’ve tried to practice that personally and empower other women to do so as well. In the beginning, I had to fight against others saying I was “too old to start something new”, or people referring to my new career as “Alison’s little business”, to build something of which I am extremely proud. The joy of knowing you have bettered another person’s life in some way is the most rewarding feeling in the world. Be prepared to listen to other’s feedback, but be able to take the advice that works for you, and leave the rest. This can be really hard, but most people who say unkind things do so out of fear or jealousy (which are ultimately the same thing). If you can understand this, you can put those words back on them. As Brené Brown says, if you aren’t in the arena trying your hardest and “daring greatly”, then I am not interested in what you have to say about me.
Delia: I grew up in AL, and decided I wanted to move to NYC and work in the fashion industry. I ended up interning at Versace and working on the buying team at Barneys New York for 4 years before pursuing The Style That Binds Us full-time. How did I make this happen hardly knowing anyone in this industry? Both of these positions were made possible by 1 ½ year+ of consistent networking. While at Barneys, my mother & I both started our own blogs (she was answering the style questions she was consistently asked while working with women in their closets, and I gave the inside scoop into how I got into the fashion industry & what it is like once you’re in it. I also introduced our audience to emerging brands that I was meeting during my time at Barneys). After multiple people suggested we join forces to create a mother-daughter team, we did it!
Both of us had careers in the fashion industry before starting our company, and therefore we have implemented the knowledge, skills and experience in our business and filled some white spaces we saw in the market. I think every challenge is an opportunity for growth and that it only makes us better.
Adam: How did you come up with your business idea? What advice do you have for others on how to come up with great ideas?
Alison: The idea to come together was a natural one, since as mother and daughter we share a love of fashion, culture and discovery, and a strong desire to support others in any way we can. To be able to use our voices and skills to empower both brands and women, coming from a safe familial place, lends itself naturally to a feeling of inclusivity, and supports well our mission to encourage everyone to live a stylish and fearless life. As far as advice- give yourself time to think, to daydream about what you would do if you could, and what roadblocks are standing in your way. My daughter has taught me to ask, rather than “Why me?”, “Why not me?”. Be brave enough to take chances, as the saying goes, “Leap and the net will appear.”
Delia: We started our blogs based on the questions we were asked over and over, which to us meant that people were looking for information that we had the answers to. The Style That Binds Us is all about using our information & access to help our audience, clients & community live their most stylish & fearless life. We are pulling back the curtain to this magical industry & making sure everyone knows they can partake. The business model for The Style That Binds Us has organically evolved over time. We pay very close attention to what’s happening in the fashion industry, what our clients/community are looking for and how we can meet the needs and fill any gaps we see in the fashion industry.
Advice to come up with an idea would be to either pay attention to what people come to you for, or think about a product or service or industry that needs innovation or disruption. You can also think about the skills & knowledge you have that you’re passionate about, and see if you can turn those into a business.
Adam: What are the key steps you have taken to grow your business? What advice do you have for others on how to take their businesses to the next level?
Alison: I believe that fashion is the ultimate way to express yourself. You have the power to tell people who you are and to set the mood of a conversation without speaking a word. I also love the beauty, glamour, history, and creativity of clothing design and the art of ornamentation. You can learn so much about the culture of an era, simply by studying the fashion of the times. It is ultimately the story behind a brand that excites me, and being able to share that story with others has been a great honor to me. In order to build and grow a business, you have to truly understand the “why” behind what you are building. As an entrepreneur especially, you need tremendous passion for what you are creating, it is the only thing that will get you through the difficult times, and must be at the forefront of all your decisions. My styling business primarily grew through word of mouth, and also the connections made with designers and brands through Delia’s work at Barneys NY. Do not ever underestimate the importance of networking, and making sure you go above and beyond for every single client. In a crowded field, the only way to be memorable is to be exceptional.
Delia: I majored in marketing, and have always tried to implement out-of-the-box thinking to grow brand awareness based on what other brands aren’t doing. I challenge myself to figure out how to establish a well-known brand that truly makes a difference by supporting our community and designers without large marketing budgets or obvious strategies that everyone is currently doing. My goal is to get into the subconscious and then the conscious of every female on this earth and to impact their life in a positive way. Our business is being built from the ground up, one connection at a time instead of a rapidly scalable model. This will take longer, but will be more impactful & lasting in the long run. These are tactics I work with my consulting clients on for their D2C strategies to help them get in front of current, past & new clients digitally & in-person.
Adam: What are your best sales and marketing tips?
Alison: Be authentic- your business will not work if you aren’t, it’s as simple as that. Find ways to get information across using several different touchpoints; be repetitive-it takes people hearing about something at least three times to be memorable. Be kind and courteous, write personal thank you notes, follow up, create strong relationships, and be patient-some things just take time. “Going viral” isn’t the ultimate goal, you can’t avoid hard work, “blood, sweat and tears” to build something truly remarkable with staying power. Your reputation and that of your brand is everything.
Delia: You have to say the same thing in different ways many, many times. You need to post across multiple platforms in order to become memorable and create a recurring theme in someone’s digital & physical sphere. The goal is for people to say, “I see you everywhere!” In-person activations and touchpoints are absolutely critical in some capacity. Be the brand and live the brand. You are ALWAYS marketing both internally and externally, so do not get lazy or forget that. Set yourself apart by going above and beyond, and remember, the small things count.
Adam: What are your best tips on the topic of branding?
Alison: First, realize you are the brand. You may not realize the power you have, simply by how you dress and adorn yourself, to send the message about who you and your business are out into the world. I’m not talking about being a “fashionista”, or dressing appropriately for the occasion, but rather figuring out your personal one-of-a-kind aesthetic. Your aesthetic in this case being your personal “look”. The way you present yourself in the world helps define who you are. The simplest of style choices can tell your story. You never get a second chance to make a first impression- make it one that will set you apart, build trust and truly reflect who you are. This also goes for your business. Does your personal style and demeanor match that of your company? This all goes back to being authentic. If you don’t tell your story, who will? Your brand should have a cohesive look- website, brand colors and logo, team members, everyone and everything should come together to create a cohesive, easily recognizable brand. Think of brands you admire, what are their logos, slogans, who are the faces of the brand? This goes back to being repetitive, driving knowledge about and familiarity with your brand in every way possible. Live the brand!
Delia: Building a B as in brand that will last for centuries to come is something that takes time, repetition and extreme attention to detail. You have to have a reason to exist, fill a gap in the market, solve problems people have that they are willing to pay for, know what your customer wants before they know they want it, and you need to be 10 steps ahead (able to gauge when the time is right, because you don’t want to do something too soon or too late). Live the brand and consistently use your brand bible: colors, fonts, words, etc.
Adam: In your experience, what are the defining qualities of an effective leader? How can leaders and aspiring leaders take their leadership skills to the next level?
Alison: The key phrase that comes to mind for me is relationship-builder. Know your team, know about their personal lives as well, birthdays, issues they may be dealing with, etc. Be compassionate and accessible, make every single person feel equally important. If issues arise, create a safe space for people to come to you without fear of reprisal. Create a diverse, dynamic team. In order to build a loyal team, everyone must feel supported and appreciated.
Delia: A leader is someone who sets an example. Your team will look to you constantly for everything, so keep that top of mind. A leader needs to get to know their employees and figure out what motivates them. A leader needs to frequently take both a macro and micro view to ensure the strategies and tactics are working out as planned while also being open to better ways should they present themselves. Take your leadership skills to the next level by listening to podcasts, reading articles and books, watching movies or videos, etc. to learn from the best leaders. No need to reinvent the wheel!
Adam: What are your three best tips applicable to entrepreneurs, executives and civic leaders?
Alison: 1. Be kind. 2. Respond rather than react. 3. Keep the brand mission front of mind every step of the way. At The Style That Binds Us, we constantly ask ourselves “Does this serve to encourage, entertain and inform our community”?
Delia: 1. Your team is everything. Make sure they are happy and that you are taking care of them 2. Stay on the pulse of your industry as well as others 3. Constantly listen, be open to ideas, but be able to filter and only apply what makes sense for your company
Adam: What are your best fashion tips for women and for men?
Alison: Wear what you are comfortable in. Always keep in mind what your clothing choice is saying about you. How you dress can draw people towards you or push them away. For example, as far as women are concerned, wearing something with a soft texture, such a cashmere sweater, and a beaded necklace sends out a more approachable impression, and the opposite, wearing items with angles-a crisp cotton shirt, blazer, pendant necklaces all give off the vibe that you are an expert, a no nonsense kind of person. As you dress in the morning, you can think about who you want to be that day. If you are going to be in a situation where you want people to take you seriously, dress for that-in a more tailored manner. If you want the person talking to you to feel relaxed and comfortable with you, think soft and round- soft textures, round earring shapes, beads, pearls, soft hairstyle, light glowy makeup, soft lipcolor-these will relay the message to the brain of the person who is looking at you that you are someone they can let down their guard around. Perhaps most important of all is to have a great relationship with your tailor, alterations create a more polished look. Studies have shown that when two men interview for the same job wearing the same off-the-rack suit, the one who had his suit altered to fit him was awarded the job every time. The interviewers, when asked why they chose who they did, used terms like “more competent” or “more intelligent”, simply by how he was dressed!
Delia: You have so much untapped power in how you present yourself to the world. How someone perceives you is something you can control. Fashion is not frivolous. It is your non-verbal communication to the world of who you are.
Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received?
Alison: ”Learn to trust yourself, if you want to find a hero, look in the mirror.” This knowledge has come after years of believing I needed to seek others out for their advice, I’ve finally learned to look inward and trust my own instincts.
Delia: Everything will work out as it should so enjoy the process.
Adam: Is there anything else you would like to share?
Alison: Recently I found a saying in old scrapbook that I clipped out of a magazine and put on my bulletin board when I was in high school! It brought back memories of the joyful, hopeful young girl I had been. It said, “If life is a journey, the tragedy is not having enjoyed the ride.” I consider uncovering this a gift, lying in wait in an old book until the perfect time came to remind me that it is never too late to live the life of your dreams.
Delia: We are thrilled to help our audience and community live a stylish and fearless life. Life is filled with ups and downs, and we are absolutely honored to have the opportunity to inspire, inform and entertain across all our platforms and to be your go-to resource for all things style.
Adam Mendler is the CEO of The Veloz Group, where he co-founded and oversees ventures across a wide variety of industries. Adam is also the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one on one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. Adam has written extensively on leadership, management, entrepreneurship, marketing and sales, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities and non-profit organizations.
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