I recently went one on one with Andrea Kayne, author of Kicking Ass in a Corset.

Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. How did you get here? What experiences, failures, setbacks or challenges have been most instrumental to your growth?

Andrea: It’s a pleasure to get to share this, Adam. Thank you. My path here began with many years of living from the outside in... being concerned with what people think, how others viewed me, what was expected of me, and giving myself away in the process both in my professional life and in my personal life. 

There’s an exercise I do based on personal experience, in my courses and with women’s leadership groups, that I call the “other side of your business card.”  I ask women to write three words to describe themselves that have nothing to do with their work or what they do for others. So often there’s a tendency for the participants to define themselves relationally as caring for others. For example, “I’m a caring mother, I’m a supportive team leader,” etc. When I ask them to name meaningful strengths that don’t involve service to others it’s much more difficult. But it is crucial that women do so to be Internally Referenced Leaders. You know the saying: If a tree falls in a forest and there’s nobody around to hear it, does it make a sound? I’m really trying to tap into what my sound is.

Adam: What do you hope readers take away from your new book?

Andrea: Now, more than ever, women need to know how to tap into a deep well-spring of personal agency and an internal locus of control no matter what is going on around them. 

I hope readers remember that they’ve had the power inside of them the whole time. In Kicking Ass in a Corset I detail six different ways to access that Internally Referenced power that they can do to not just create meaning for an organization or meaning for others but meaning for themselves.

Adam: What do you believe are the defining qualities of an effective leader?

Andrea: For me, an effective leader is an Internally Referenced Leader who values herself irrespective of any circumstance. She is not a victim, but has problem-solving resiliency, prefers hard work and merit over entitlement and claims that hard work. She knows her moral North Star and tries not to deviate from it - but when she does, she returns back. She nurtures her childhood wonder, dreaming and creativity, she leads with humility and is committed to lifelong learning and growing.

Adam: How can leaders and aspiring leaders take their leadership skills to the next level?

Andrea: I believe going to the next level is not about necessarily learning a set of skills, although that’s part of it. It’s about an internal commitment to growth. Intellectual and social and emotional growth all work together and I think EQ is as important as IQ. I do feel we become better leaders when we can talk about what we don’t know, what we’re afraid of, share our vulnerabilities and go inward instead of going upward.

Adam: What are your three best tips applicable to entrepreneurs, executives and civic leaders? 

Andrea: At the end of each day, I think you should re-frame three common questions:

Instead of asking, “What did they think of me today?” ask “What did I think of me today?” Instead of asking, “What awful thing happened to me today?”  ask “How did a challenge provide me an opportunity today?” And, instead of asking, “What goal did I achieve?” ask “What milestone did I reach on my long and winding journey?”

Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received?

Andrea: From the Tao Te Ching: “Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity.”

Adam: Is there anything else you would like to share?

Andrea: No matter what corset and how we feel constrained, we all have internal power that is just waiting for us to activate it. For more information, please visit www.andreakayne.com.


Adam Mendler is the CEO of The Veloz Group, where he co-founded and oversees ventures across a wide variety of industries. Adam is also the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one on one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. Adam has written extensively on leadership, management, entrepreneurship, marketing and sales, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities and non-profit organizations.

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