Thirty Minute Mentors Podcast Transcript: Olympic Gold Medalist Benita Fitzgerald Mosley
I recently interviewed Olympic gold medalist Benita Fitzgerald Mosley on my podcast, Thirty Minute Mentors. Here is a transcript of our interview:
Adam Mendler: Our guest today is an Olympic gold medalist and a nonprofit leader. Bonita Fitzgerald Mosley won a gold medal in track and field in the 1984 Olympic Games in Los Angeles and is the CEO of the nonprofit Multiplying Good, Benita, thank you for joining us.
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Oh, thank you so much for having me. Great to be here.
Adam Mendler: Great to have you on. You grew up in Dale City, Virginia, 25 miles outside of Washington, DC, and you showed early prowess in sports and in school. Can you take listeners back to your early days? What early experiences and lessons shaped your worldview and shaped the trajectory of your success?
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Yeah, I did. I'm aging myself, but I guess it's easy to go online and find my age, so I won't worry about it. I grew up in northern Virginia during a time as a young black girl where times were interesting, to say the least. I think my mom was one of four teachers to help integrate the public school system in Prince William County. It's the second-largest county in the state of Virginia. And in many areas in Virginia, they shut schools down to not have to integrate and all of that. But in the mid sixty s, my mom and three of the teachers were asked to go to all-white schools and did that. And a year or two later, when I was ready to go to public school, as a result of that, I went to fully integrated schools and never knew anything different. So, yeah, the great upbringing, two educators as parents. My mom was probably the most successful of the two on paper, from a standpoint of just breaking down barriers, not only integrating public schools but integrating the school system and the school board office and everything else. My dad was a guidance counselor, his master's in counseling and undergrad in math and science. So that's the only reason I ended up majoring in engineering in college is because my dad was such a proponent of STEM even before that was popular. And so, yeah, I had one of those idyllic upbringings and great parents who really talked to my sister, my eye, about helping us to find the things that we were talented at, the things that we were passionate about, and supporting us in exploring those talents and those interests. And so I was able to play flute and piccolo in middle school and high school. I was in the first chair. I was able to try gymnastics and softball and violin and a bunch of things I wasn't very good at. And finally, of course, found track and field in middle school and was able to pursue that passion as well, all the way to the Olympics.
Adam Mendler: I love it. A lot of great lessons there. I love the fact that your parents encouraged you to try everything, try playing musical instruments, try a bunch of different sports, find what you love, find what you're great at. It wasn't until you were in middle school that you discovered, this is what I'm much better at than all these other things. And you started going with it.
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Yes. And if I've showed an interest, I mean, I'm 5’10. Simone Biles is probably 4’10. And so gymnastics was never going to be the thing I was good at. But I saw the Olympics and I was so fascinated by Oga Corbett and Nadia Kamani. Nadia and I are good. Know, I can't even believe somebody I was idolized as a young person is now among my friends. But she inspired so many kids to take up gymnastics. And so my dad said, okay, we'll do gymnastics lessons. When I was in a gymnastics club, well, I was horrible in gymnastics. But for those two or three years that all the girls were doing gymnastics and we were doing meets in our front yard and going to gymnastics class, and I was on the gymnastics team. Well, if I hadn't been on the gymnastics team, the coach in middle school was also the track coach. And so coach Washington saw me in the gymnastics gym and she said, I see you running in PE class and you're beating all the boys, you need to come out for the track team. And so I did. And the rest is history. So I feel like I fell into track thanks to something I really wasn't good at, at all. But I had the, I guess, the courage, the people encouraging me to try things even if I wasn't good and enjoy them regardless if I was on the top of the podium or not. It didn't matter. It was just more being with my friends and doing something I enjoyed. And there was no shame in scoring fours and fives instead of perfect tens.
Adam Mendler: You weren't afraid of failing, you weren't afraid of looking bad.
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: No. There's a lot of freedom in that.
Adam Mendler: The whole notion of pushing your comfort zone really starts with not being afraid to fail, not being afraid of the consequences of what happens when things don't go right. And in your case, sounds like you really never had that inhibition which allowed you to try all these different things and ultimately find the thing that you excelled in.
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Yeah. So by 6th, 7th grade, well, I guess 6th grade, I started playing the flute, and our band director Mr. Minnick said to my dad, who came to him and said, I really want to buy this. We were renting a flute. I really want to buy my daughter a new flute, this combined, heart-open-hole flute. So it's really much more difficult to play because you have to cover the holes as well as blow through the instrument. And Mr. Minnick was telling my dad, Roger, I don't think you should invest all that money in getting this poor child a flute because she can't play very well. And again, got the new flute, got me some flute lessons, and by 7th grade, I was first chair, and he got to eat his words with the encouragement of my father. And obviously, hard work on my part because I took the lessons and I played the pieces and I practiced every day. And so also the lesson of hard work and perseverance, and you can overcome a lot through that.
Adam Mendler: I love it. Something that is a clear early lesson here - the power of surrounding yourself with the right people. In your case, a lot of the lessons that you learn from your parents, the support you receive from your parents, the encouragement. It's great when we get that from our parents, but that's really the job of a mentor. Your parents can be mentors to you. If you have that, great. If you don't have that, go find mentors. And the job of a great parent, just as a great mentor, to be someone who encourages you to try things, encourages you to explore, encourages you to make mistakes, gives you the space to fail to be bad at something. It's that process of discovery that allows you to determine, what am I good at, what am I bad at, what am I great at, how can I thrive, how can I excel. That process that allows you to ultimately become your very best.
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Yeah, I certainly had that, and not only through my parents but through my teachers and coaches as well. So they were fantastic, and I'm very blessed to have had them. And extended family, extended family, friends. My parents had a very strong group of friends that the kids grew up together. Families obviously got together a lot for special occasions and holidays, and they were on various boards and committees together in the county. And it was great because I had a cadre of five or six or seven different moms, not just my own loving mom, but many others who were there for everything. For everything. And to this day, I feel like I can count on them. And my parents are gone now. And so for those of them in that group that are left, they are very near and dear to my heart.
Adam Mendler: Was there a particular coach or a particular mentor? Along the way, who really shaped the trajectory of your success, really shaped the way that you think, the way that you lead, shaped who you are?
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Oh, all of them. Every coach talks about Coach Washington really tapped me on the shoulder that day, and I like to call it redirecting me from something that I might have enjoyed but wasn't very good at to something she knew I would be very good at. Like you do a toddler, when they're going to get something else, you distract them with something else. I felt like that's what she was doing, and she had a couple toddlers at the time. So I think her teaching and coaching style is very similar to her parenting style. In high school, there were a handful of coaches, actually, the men's track coach, Mike Campbell, who had been a former NFL player. You had coach Lockett, who was the head coach when I was a freshman. My freshman year, we won our fourth straight state championship in girls track and field. While I was in high school, we won the basketball state championship and the gymnastics state championship. I was not on either of those teams, but I had teammates, obviously, who were and schoolmates. And coach Lockett was a prolific, amazing coach. She went on to become a prolific and amazing principal and leader in the school system here. But she was the one who put the bug in my ear, as I had a high school teammate that made the Olympic team as a senior in high school when I was a freshman. And four years later, both of us were there on the Olympic team in 80 when we had to boycott, thanks to President Carter. So it was having people like that that say, I have a vision for you. I see your talent, and I feel like you can reach the highest heights. And having someone tell you that at 1314 years old and really believe it, and to have proof in the pudding that here's a young woman who lives around the corner from you, who's grown up with you, who you're best friends with, her and her sister, and one of them went to the Olympics. That means if you can see it, you can be it. So that was easy. And then when Coach Lockett went on to more administrative things, Coach Brown became the coach of the track team. And she was young. She was in her mid-twenties at the time, but she passed the baton off to coach Ruthie. And what she didn't know, she just had a real knack for finding out. And that was before the internet, before you had apps on your phone, you didn't have any of that stuff. So she would just call people or find meets for me to go to, to run against the best talent in the country. And so by the time I was a senior in high school, I was among the top five hurdlers in the country. And that's all due to Coach Ruthie. So she was amazing. And then in college, I had great coaches as well. I love Terry Crawford the most. She was the head coach of Tennessee where I went to school, and we're still great friends now. She's been a mentor friend. At one point, an employee of mine when I was chief of sport at USOC and I hired as director of coaching. So we've had a mother-daughter relationship, a coach-athlete relationship, a best friend relationship, an employer-employee relationship throughout the past. I don't even want to say how many years. I guess now 40-something years. So it's been a long time. And so all of them collectively are responsible for my success and couldn't have had any of it without all of them.
Adam Mendler: You shared a lot of great insights that we can build on. I want to pull a couple out. One thing you said which really stood out to me, if you can see it, you can be it. And the job of a coach, the job of a mentor is to show you that success is possible. A great coach instills confidence, and all the coaches who you described did that for you. The last coach who you mentioned, your college coach, you mentioned that she was your coach. She later became your employee. At one point, she was your mentor. At another point, maybe you were her mentor. And it really speaks to the importance of reciprocity in relationships. It speaks to the importance of authenticity in relationships. You can't enter any relationship with a transactional mindset and expect that it's going to sustain. All relationships have to be grounded in both parties genuinely wanting to be there and wanting to contribute as much as they can to one another in a truly authentic way.
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: I love that. Relationships aren't transactional. They really aren't. And a lot of people see, okay, I'm going to get this out of this person and then I'll do that for them. It's like a quid pro quo situation as well. And I enter relationships and do things for people just because they ask. And if I have the time and I have the opportunity, I'm going to make myself available. And one of the phrases I like to use is, you have to be present to win. And so it's one of those things where you got to show up and you have to be where things are happening. You have to avail yourself to opportunities you have to respond when you're asked to do something, and you just do it because you're benevolent. You want to help other people. And my mind and my experience has been, as I do these things, I meet people, and those relationships sustain for, in some cases, decades. My staff at multiplying. Good. They'll say, Benita, I just can't believe how much you do. You're on the links this, and you do that. Last night, I MC'd a dinner, and I found out my daughter was getting her letterman jacket at the halftime of the University of Maryland game. She's on the track team there. She's a sophomore, so she lettered her freshman year. And I knew I couldn't miss that moment. So I had agreed to emcee this event. I'm on the board. It's called Athletes for Hope and play for Hope Gala. And I was just like, can we move stuff around so that I could emcee the beginning and then leave? Because I had a co-emcee. And they're like, absolutely. And so I literally walked in the gym a minute before Maya walks onto this gym floor to be recognized. And so it all comes back around, and everybody was just, yeah, you got to go. And Mia Hamm was there and her husband Nomar, and you had Christine Lilly, and you had Vernon Davis, and you had all these amazing athletes were there. And when they heard what I was, oh, no, you have to leave. And they were trying to get the dinner started so that I could get up on the stage and do my emcee bid at the beginning. I mean, but the point is not to name-drop or anything else. It's like, you want to do something good. And they knew that I was the emcee, but they also knew, hey, this is an important time. We got to help get Benita out the door. And these are all people in the audience that were just, yeah, like, congratulations. And, Maya, go get them. Tell them we say congratulations. And I could have said, no, I can't emcee or whatever, but they called me a few weeks ago, said I could emcee. My daughter calls me night before last and says, this thing is happening, and we worked it out, is the point. And they want to help me because I helped them.
Adam Mendler: And another point is the power of authenticity. When you're an authentic person, when you're an authentic leader, people are going to be drawn to you. People are going to respect you. People are going to want to follow you. And that's a great example of the power of being genuine, the power of authenticity. What do you believe are the key characteristics of the most successful leaders and what can anyone do to become a better leader?
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Yeah, I am in the process of writing a book, and it's really an antidote to impostor syndrome. And as a woman leader and women experiences, usually sometimes it kicks in after middle school, up until all the possibilities and not being fearful and taking risks and all the stuff that I did as an elementary schooler and as a middle schooler and had the foundation underneath me of my parents and everything else. But at some point in high school and college, and as you get a little bit older, this imposter syndrome sinks in and says, can I really do that? Am I really that good? Should I really go for that? What if I fail? What if they don't like me? What if all those things happen? Someone offers you a job or, oh, gosh, that's too big. I went from being a director of training centers to be a CEO of women in cable telecommunications, this big organization in the cable industry. I could have shirked from that and said, oh, I don't want to do that. It was because you nipped the nail, the head of all the practice I got as a young person and on the track of challenging myself to doing new things and taking risks that I have been able to translate that. And so the story goes that it was a few weeks before the Olympic games, it was just after the Olympic trials, and I'm sitting on the track at the University of Tennessee, where I went to school, and I was still training right before the 84 games. And I had this epiphany because I had been here to four, going to the worlds the year before and even going to pan amps, which I won the summer before, I was like, I guess not as confident as I should be. Probably going into Pan Ams, I was hoping I'd win and kind of had better, but going into worlds that same year, oh, I hope I make the final. I hope I run fast. I hope I run a personal best. But I didn't see myself on the podium. It was somebody else. Oh, so and so is going to win. So having an expectation for someone else to win. And finally, I sat on the track that hot summer day in Knoxville, and I was like, why not me? Why am I always thinking about somebody else winning or being on the podium or taking the big, why not me get to win the race? Why not me get the gold medal? Why not me? And so that's the title of my book is Why Not Me? And it really is a story of what kinds of things I put in place from having a good start to setting high goals to powering through hurdles to running my own race and having a strong finish. The different phases of the race that allow me, even in my day-to-day life today, take on challenges that otherwise I might shirk from just because that little voice in your head that says, are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you're good enough? Are you sure they're going to like you? Are they sure? I had the same thing when I thought about this position at Cornfair came after me this past spring, multiplying good Jefferson awards. Oh, my gosh. That was founded by Jackie Kennedy Onassis. And look at the Jefferson award winners. And it's icon after icon after icon, from Oprah to Shaquille O'Neill to Jimmy Carter. It's a who's who. Sonya, soto, ior, you name them, they've gotten one. And thinking, who am I to think I can lead an organization like that? And sure enough, I said, I'm putting my hat in the ring anyway, why not me? And I'm the CEO, so that's the story and that's the book.
Adam Mendler: And it really speaks to the power of mindset, the importance of mindset. You want to succeed in life? You want to become great. It starts with a winning mindset. It starts with visualizing success, acknowledging that I have as good a chance of being successful as anyone else. Why not me?
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Yeah, I mean, they got to ask themselves that question. And I think for me, if you really look deep in your heart at that moment, then you'll understand, what kind of self-talk am I doing that is prohibiting me from achieving the things that I want to achieve in my life.
Adam Mendler: You mentioned in passing earlier on in our conversation that you went out for the Olympics and you made the team. You did what millions of people around the world dream of doing, make it to the Olympics. But that dream was dashed when the US boycotted the 1980 Moscow Summer Olympics. Can you take listeners back to that moment? How did you and your fellow athletes navigate the disappointment of that experience, of that moment? And what lessons did you learn from that experience?
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Yeah, it's both what happened in 80 and then what happened or didn't happen for people in 1984. And the four years are a long time, and a lot happens in those four years. And so I think it was one, the disappointment for a lot of us that we wouldn't have that one shiny moment, the opportunity to be on the world stage and compete with the world's best, and that a dream that is so close and yet so far was happening. I think we were all pretty young at that point in time, yet Madeline Manning and a few others that were in their late 20s and early 30s. But a lot of us, Carl Lewis and myself and even his sister Carol and I can name all kinds of names. But I was 18, Carl was 18, Carol was 17. We were younger in our younger. And all felt like in four years we still had plenty of upside. The problem is people get injured. People like Ronaldo Diamaya, who went on to play professional football. Well in the early 80s, if you played a professional in one sport, you had to be an amateur athlete and couldn't compete in the Olympics. Well, all the amateur rules are gone now. But for him, he was the best athlete in the world. He was a world record holder. He would have won easily a gold medal in the Olympics. And he never got that opportunity with a gold medal because four years later he commentated my race, he and Al Michaels. So he was in the arena, but now he wasn't on the track. He was playing for the 49ers. And so there were other people. Number one in the world, Stanley Floyd. And he didn't make the team. The three hurdlers that made the team in 80. I was the only one to come back four years later and make the Olympic team again and thankfully won a gold medal. So there were, I would say, three-quarters of the team in 80, didn't come back in 84, never made another Olympic team. And for me, that's the sad part. I think in the moment, we were all still hopeful. It was all the world of possibility. Yeah, we're disappointed. But they did a lot for us. They brought us, gave us congressional medals, and they did a parade. And we had another meet, The Freedom Games, they called them in Philadelphia. And so we were so busy, we went to Europe and ran a bunch of races after the games were over. And so we were busy. We're running, we're having fun. We were young. We thought, the world's our oyster. And then the reality hit, I think, four years later for those people who never got that chance again, and that still is heavy on my heart for those individuals.
Adam Mendler: In your case, you did get another bite at the apple in 1984, and you won an Olympic gold medal in the 100-meter hurdles, becoming the first black woman to do so. You were the underdog in that race, and you beat the favorite by 1/25 of a second. How?
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Yeah, I'm telling you, it's the mindset. Four-hundredths of a second. What separated me from her winning this gold and she getting the silver? Shirley Strong. And that's why I talk about having a strong finish because her name was Shirley Strong and she's from the UK and she'd beat me a year before at the world championships. And so when she did that and she pulled out a cigarette and started smoking, I thought to myself, she's never going to beat me again to that effect. And a year later, I see her smoking between the semis and the finals and I was reminded of that vow I had taken. But really, it certainly was all mindset. I mean, honestly, if I'd gone into that race with the same mindset I had a year before, of hoping to make a final and hoping to run a personal best and hope it just wouldn't have been the same as going in there with an expectation that the gold medal was mine and it was my to lose, as opposed to, hey, I hope I someday want to go below. Someday is today. This is my time. I'm owning it. I'm claiming it. Let's go.
Adam Mendler: Confidence. Someday is today. This is my time. And whether you're running a race in the Olympics or whether you're running your own personal race in life, now's the time. What better time than today? Go after it. You only have one life, it's yours. Take ownership. Get in the driver's seat.
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Yeah, totally believe that. And it certainly worked for me and it continues to work. And part of it is I was young at the time, in my early twenties and certainly much more seasoned now. It'll be the 40th anniversary of our 84 Olympics next summer. And then, of course, four years later, we'll be back in LA for the 2028 Olympic Games, which I'm very much looking forward to. And those lessons apply to me every single day. And so I always have to shim myself up and to take on these challenges because they hit me. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a hurdle race, they come up so fast.
Adam Mendler: Going back to your time as a competitive athlete and even today as an executive, how did you, and how do you motivate yourself on the days that you don't feel motivated? And what are your best tips on the topic of motivation?
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: There are very few days that I'm not motivated. I think there's hardly a day that I'm not motivated. I wake up motivated every day. And the days I'm not, let's say fake it till you make it. I just do what needs to be done. I don't really think about it so much. I just go for it every day. And when I need to pause, I mean, I try to work out. I eat well, I get a good night's sleep. And on Sundays, I'm either watching the NFL or I'm watching now hallmark movies, Christmas movies. Those two, my things we watch, I'll read. I'm writing my book. I mean, there's things that I do hang out with my friends, obviously my husband, that to me, family going to support my daughter and her endeavors, or my son. That's what keeps me going. Those are the important things of life. And as long as I have that, I'm motivated.
Adam Mendler: I gave a talk recently, and after my talk, during the Q&A component, someone in the audience asked me, right now I feel very motivated. Your talk motivated me. I felt good about that. But what do I do afterwards? Talk is over. I go home. Yeah, I'm fired up. But a week from now, two weeks from now, I'm no longer motivated. What do I do?
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: I mean, it's got to come from inside. And I think a talk from you or me or reading a book, it's external motivation, and it can remind you of things and guide you and inspire you. But ultimately it comes back to what am I willing to do myself in order to achieve the goals I've set?
Adam Mendler: I love that. And I'll tell you what I told this person who asked me the question, which is, you shouldn't need me to motivate you. If you need me to motivate you, you're doing the wrong thing. You should be able to motivate yourself. And if you require me for motivation, you should reassess whether you're doing what you should be doing in your career, whether you're doing what you should be doing in your life, if you're doing something that you love, if you're doing something that you're great at, if you're doing something that allows you to make a positive impact in the lives of others, you're going to be motivated every day. There might be a day here or there to your point where you wake up and maybe you don't have as much energy as you do on a normal day. But putting that aside, you're going to be fired up. You're going to be ready to get at it every day. You're going to have that mindset of attack. But if you are not checking those three boxes, if you're not doing something that you love, if you're not doing something that you're great at, if you're not doing something that you feel like you're really making a positive impact on the lives of others.
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Yeah. That's the source of lack of motivation. It's not the fact that someone else isn't telling you what to do or inspiring you. Yeah. Those are the key components, really. Waking up every day doing something that you love and that you're good at, and that is helping other people and helping people and organizations win gold medals in life and business. That's when I'm at my best, and when I'm helping other people be at their best and organizations be at their best.
Adam Mendler: What can anyone do to become more successful, personally and professionally?
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley:I think finding that thing that makes their heart sing, I felt that way about when I met my husband and we started dating. We were engaged in six months and married six months after that. It was very apparent to me. I knew when you find that person, your person, and I knew through trial and error, unfortunately, what that looked like. And it wasn't criteria like, oh, he has to make so much money and look like this and live like that. It was who he was as a person and is as a person. And I feel like that's what I wait for. Anytime any kind of career opportunity comes along or when I'm opening myself up to new things, when I find something that makes my heart sing for me, that's what helps make me successful. And then I'm able to pull all that energy and motivation into that.
Adam Mendler: Find something that makes your heart sing, and a lesson that's really connected to that is trust your gut, trust your instincts. If you feel it, if deep down, you think that this is the right thing for you, trust yourself.
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Yeah.
Adam Mendler: Benita, thank you for all the great advice, and thank you for being a part of Thirty Minute Mentors.
Benita Fitzgerald Mosley: Thank you.
Adam Mendler is an entrepreneur, writer, speaker, educator, and nationally-recognized authority on leadership. Adam is the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one on one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal-winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities, and non-profit organizations. Adam has written extensively on leadership and related topics, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. Adam teaches graduate-level courses on leadership at UCLA and is an advisor to numerous companies and leaders. A Los Angeles native, Adam is a lifelong Angels fan and an avid backgammon player.
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