I recently went one on one with Carlos Valdes-Dapena. Carlos is the founder and Managing Principal of Corporate Collaboration Resources and a former longtime executive at Mars, Inc. Carlos is also the author of Virtual Teams: Holding the Center When You Can’t Meet Face-to-Face and Lessons From Mars: How Old Global Company Cracked the Code on High-Performance Collaboration.

Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. How did you get here? What experiences, failures, setbacks or challenges have been most instrumental to your growth? 

Carlos: I am a late bloomer, Adam. I didn’t hit my professional stride until I was in my fifties, so it’s been quite a journey with many lessons along the way. Briefly, I am one of 11 children so early on I developed an instinct for how to work with groups. I started my professional life in the theater as an actor and director. I realized by my mid-twenties that a life in the theater wasn’t for me – I’m too much of a homebody for life on the road. Among other things I learned that theater is an entirely collaborative art form. It always takes a team of actors, designers, stagehands, etc., to make a production work. That collaborative capability formed the foundation of my approach when I took a job in commercial photography, on the business and production side. I like to say this was my unofficial MBA. I learned volumes there about business and leading people. One of the founders was a brilliant guy with a natural feel for leadership and he left me with lessons I still use today. In fact, he awakened my passion for teams and leadership that led me, after nine years there, into corporate training and consulting which is what I do today. 

Adam: In your experience, what are the key steps to growing and scaling your business? 

Carlos: After more than 30 years working inside companies, I set up my one-person consulting firm. It was going okay, but not great. I was looking for guidance on how to get things moving. A friend put me in touch with his brother, a tremendously successful entrepreneur who had founded, grown and then sold a real estate sales training company. He gave me a great piece of advice - you can’t scale YOU. You can only scale a product or service that you can produce in quantity and that people are hungry for. Sounds obvious but after 30 years as a consultant where the product was me, I was missing it. Since that conversation, I have actively sought partners who have skills I lack, especially in productizing the transformative concepts that form the core of my consulting. I’m now working with one person in Brazil and a couple of folks in eastern Europe on ways to formulate those concepts so they can be sold more broadly. 

Adam: What tips do you have for leaders on how to manage successful teams and build a winning culture in a virtual setting? 

Carlos: First, be patient. We are all still trying to figure this out. I’ve been working with teams and culture for decades, but the pandemic of 2020 has changed the game for all of us. Give yourself and your team time to figure it out. Second, lead with empathy. People are going through so much change and challenge these days. Before you get down to business, check in on how each team member is doing and how you or their colleagues can support them. Finally, be willing to try things, fail and learn. For instance, what’s the right cadence for your team meetings? It will differ from team to team, business to business. You could start by meeting once a week for 90 minutes, for example. That might be too much so back off and go to meeting twice monthly but for 2.5 hours. Maybe that will work and maybe not. Be okay with that. You will, in time, find what’s right for you and the team. 

Adam: More broadly, what are your best tips on building, leading and managing teams? 

Carlos: I’ll offer a “stop-and- start” suggestion, Adam. First, stop expecting the time and money you spend on conventional team building exercises to change how effectively your team collaborates. Doing an escape room together can be a lot of fun and you may learn a few things about yourself and your teammates. But research has demonstrated that exercises like escape rooms, outdoor challenges, or trust falls do not translate into more effective teams. You know what does? Clarifying your team’s purpose, the potential value-add of their collaboration, and the specific projects and initiatives that will benefit from team collaboration. Establish clear goals around that work. Then spend time clarifying who will play what role and how you will work together. When you’ve done all that, then maybe go bowling or do some orienteering for fun and relationship building.

Adam: What do you believe are the defining qualities of an effective leader?

Carlos: It’s pretty straightforward. A vision for the future, compassion for the here-and-now, a proven ability to bring out the very best in others and never, ever stop learning. The vision part is what it sounds like: what does success look like when the organization has had the impact it intends? Compassion for the here and now is all about remembering, every day, that as compelling as your vision might be, getting there is a day-to-day journey, some of it tough. Just pushing for success won’t work. You must meet people where they are today and bring them along. Bringing out the best in others is indispensable. You alone cannot reach the vision. It will require everyone doing their best. Your job as leader is to foster a culture where people show up everyday committed to being and doing their best. Finally, every day brings challenges as well as successes. Develop the habit of pausing from time to time to wonder, figure out what’s behind the failures and what contributed to your successes. Then apply those lessons as you move ahead. 

Adam: How can leaders and aspiring leaders take their leadership skills to the next level? 

Carlos: There is only one proven way to learn leadership. By leading and learning as you go. Courses are great for gaining insight. Coaching can be useful for processing experiences and extracting insights and lessons learned. But the key is putting those lessons and insights to work, trying things, making mistakes, scoring some victories and then pausing to figure out what worked, what didn’t, and what you can do next time. You can start this process anywhere, any time. At your church, on a school board, or at work. 

Adam: What are your three best tips applicable to entrepreneurs, executives and civic leaders? 

Carlos: First, develop and maintain a service mindset; believe that what you are doing is good not just for you or your organization but for humanity. Second, listen more than you talk, a 5-to-1 ratio is my target. Third, and this reflects my earlier comments, keep learning. 

Adam: What are your best tips on the topics of sales, marketing and branding? 

Carlos: Above all else, be able to state in one sentence the value of what you offer. It’s harder than it sounds. I spent months working on developing one line that when I uttered it at a cocktail hour or over dinner with guests or potential clients, they would stop and say, “that’s sounds interesting. Tell me more.” My one liner is, “To collaborate better, collaborate less by focusing on what matters most.” The statement reflects my foundational beliefs and how to act on them, but it doesn’t give it all away; it invites inquiry. To be honest I’m always refining it. But it works pretty well as is.

Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received? 

Carlos: This was from my boss at the commercial photography business: “There is no limit to what you can achieve so long as you don’t care who gets the credit.” No one is sure where it comes from but its pure gold. 

Adam: Is there anything else you would like to share?

Carlos: Margret Meade the renowned sociologist famously said, “never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. In fact, it’s the only thing that ever has.” I believe groups are the great lever for change in society, in organizations and even in our personal lives. If we can figure out how to get groups functioning well together, there is no limit to the possibilities for transformation.