Adam Mendler

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Thirty Minute Mentors Podcast Transcript: Interview with Emmy Award Winner Daphne Oz

I recently interviewed Daphne Oz on my podcast, Thirty Minute Mentors. Here is a transcript of our interview:

Adam: Our guest today is an Emmy Award winning television host and New York Times bestselling author. Daphne Oz spent six seasons as co-host of the ABC talk show The Chew and is the author of The Dorm Room Diet, and Relish: an Adventure in Food, Style, and Everyday Fun. Daphne, thank you for joining us.

Daphne: Thanks for having me.

Adam: Something that I often tell audiences that I speak to is that before you can effectively lead others, you need to be able to lead your own life. And a big part of that is being truly comfortable in your own skin. And I love that so much of your message is focused on the importance of being comfortable in your own skin. How did you get to a place where you became truly comfortable in your own skin and what are your best tips for listeners on the topic?

Daphne: You know, I think I've actually been reflecting on this quite a bit in the last month. My sister just turned 30 and I was thinking about, as a woman, what it means to turn 30; what it meant for me and, what, I'm 34 now. I wish I was 30. But my takeaway as I was thinking about, you know, what I wanted to tell her and have her know about my experience was getting comfortable in your own skin is not like- there's no end point to that, there is no finality. It is a constantly evolving, constantly in flux, and hopefully constantly progressing experience. And I think a lot of people may expect that growing up. My dad is Dr. Oz. I grew up at a doctor's dinner table. My grandpa, my grandfathers are both doctors, my grandmother and my mother are hugely interested in nutrition and complementary medicine, so we had, I mean, where other people might have been talking about current events or what happened at school that day. Like we had MIT thought processes on minimally invasive cardiothoracic surgeries and like vitamin D therapies as regular dinner table conversation, and I think people might assume as a child growing up in that setting that I was always healthy, I always knew what to eat, I always, you know, had my health under control. And it might be surprising to learn that I was actually really overweight my entire adolescence until I was about 18. I was well over 40 pounds above what the sort of height weight calculus should, should set a quote unquote, should be, you know, I really struggled to find a balance of being the oldest child in a family where my mom was 22 when she had me. I was always at my grandparents house who had six kids of their own. We were extremely Irish, Italian and Turkish. So food is a huge part of our group, our time together. We absolutely love the kitchen and cooking and celebrating around food. And me being the oldest child, I was always the person that, you know, was roped in, at first and then became just an absolute lover of being able to learn and be a part of that experience; cooking those meals, putting that love onto the table sharing with people that you love. And so I had a really hard time divorcing the emotional love that came from food and the bonding time I felt over those experiences from am I still hungry for this? Do I need to eat a second portion, etc, etc. And it wasn't until I got to college, actually, that I realized I had this incredible power. A lot of you know, a lot of people have heard about the freshman 15 because a lot of what comes with great freedom is the responsibility that you take on as perhaps like the first time you're living away from home as an 18 year old is, as you know, some bad choices. And I really wanted to make sure that I used that freedom and responsibility to make sure that I wasn't holding myself back in my own life. And this was the first of a really key lesson that I learned as I started to lose the weight and I eventually did lose 40 pounds over the course of my freshman and sophomore year at college and wrote a book that I published my junior year called The Dorm Room Diet that was all about how I learned to not just love what I ate and explore my love of food with cooking but to do it in a way that that never robbed me of the experiences I deeply wanted from college and I'm someone extremely driven by filling up the Memory Box. So I wanted all of his experiences but I also didn't want to hold myself back and what I realized is that I had been holding myself back from excelling at sports or performing, you know, to my abilities because of the extra weight I was carrying around. And as I started to lose the weight, and I started to publicly speak about that experience and get rid of the shyness that I had my whole life, but in terms of, you know, peer to peer interaction, I was always someone who like wanted to be with the adults and had a hard time with kids my age and this- imagine revealing like this most intimate vulnerable process and having to talk about it at college campuses all over the US. And it was a really fast way to get over awkwardness and discomfort in public. And as I started to have a career that really helped, you know? I developed out of the really personal, authentic experience of wanting to be healthy and wanting to love my food. I realized that what I thought was going to be a cross to bear in being this, you know, heavy kid in the health nut family became, in some ways, my life's defining, you know, original purpose. And this is another thought I have, which is that your life can have different purposes, and it should have different purposes as you evolve and sometimes as you complete goals, but your question was, how do you, you know, how do you give your life direction? And how do you get comfortable in your skin. And the shorter answer to that is that I find that as I get older, and you know, you hear it as a young kid that you really don't learn how to live authentically and feel really at ease in your body and at ease in your skin until you're in your 30’s. That's what I heard from older women, and I didn't believe them. And now I know it to be true, because there is a sense of ownership that comes with having lived in this skin and also, having experienced that, like, your actual sense of value and your actual sense of ability and capability has so little to do with how you look. I mean, I've been pregnant and was a giant and shrunk and giant and shrunk and back and forth, back and forth. And at no point can I say there was a distinct correlation between how I felt in terms of competence or feeling good in my skin. That as though it had anything to do with how I looked physically. And that's really when I think you start to take ownership and how, you know, for me personally, my brand has really evolved because it's really critically important for me personally and that makes it something I really want to share with women around me. It is about finding easy, manageable ways for women to feel great in our skin. I think we deserve that. I think life is too short to not feel that way. I don't believe or subscribe to the idea of you know, put your life on hold and make it about you in 20 years when, you know, when quote unquote, your kids don't need you anymore. Because by the way, I hope my kids never don't need me. I hope they always want to be around and need something from me. But I also know that that I won't be the mother I want to be if I don't occasionally take that time to refill my coffee and make myself feel like I'm living a life that I want fully and and that's sort of the the constant sort of litmus test, I questioned myself, I questioned my actions, I questioned my thoughts, I questioned the way that I live my life daily. Is it serving that end goal?

Adam: I love it. I love how you went about figuring out how to transform your life, how to transform the focus of your life. And something that I wanted to ask you is for listeners tuning in, no matter where they are in their journeys; they could be early on, they could be college students, they could be graduate students, or they could be leaders trying to take that next step. Everyone's trying to ultimately figure out how to become their best selves, how to better thrive, personally, professionally. And that's such a big part of what you started doing when you were a college freshman, figuring out how to transform your health. That's what you've been doing as you've been a public figure. What advice do you have for anyone tuning in on how they can go about becoming their best self? What steps can they take?

Daphne: Yeah, you know, I mean, it's interesting because I think when you pressurize it as like here are the steps I have to take, because it robs you of a little bit of the joy of discovery and something that I really have found is some of the best steps I've taken and some of the best habits I've adopted were never something I set out to do. I even call it the Aquarius in me. I have a really hard time sticking to the idea but I set out with an eye. I want to take on 14 different things at once and I'm a little scattered as a result and probably less efficient than I could be. But, I get to keep being curious and I get to keep exploring and keep taking on new things. I would say that’s, you know, a critical piece of becoming a better version of yourself. I don't believe it's perfection. I believe it's progress. That's really what we're all striving for. And I think it's really about taking, you know, doing the check ins with yourself, taking stock with yourself. Like I had a friend tell me, I loved to read pre-kids. I would read voraciously. Now it's really more about audible listening to books on tape as I'm driving kids to school or cooking or whatever. And it was bumming me out that I was taking that. Like I stopped reading really, for pleasure, certainly, you know, as much as I would have liked and I think I would get stuck reading these books. And it would take me like a year to slog through this relatively small book. And I had a girlfriend, who reads voraciously, tell me- she's like you're not obligated to finish a book just because you started it. If you don't like it, end it. Like you get rid of it and try something new, that’s part of what keeps taking you so long. It's not just the time constraints, it's also that you're clearly not that excited about this book, or you'd come back to it faster. And that kind of revolutionized for me the way that I approach reading. And I don't feel so obligated to continue with something just because I started it. And it's gotten me excited about it again, and certainly gotten me through more of them. And I say this because I think it's important in terms of any kind of improvement you're looking to make, any new habit you're looking to adopt. You have to take stock and see if it's feeling as good as you thought it was gonna feel and if it's taking you in the direction you thought it was going to take you because plenty of us take on new habits that end up, they don't serve us the way we'd hoped they would. I think a couple things that most people would say do benefit them is some kind of sweat every single day. And that, you know, something that I adopted in quarantine was the idea that, like, 10 minutes here, and there actually really does add up. I think a lot of us from gym class or you know, workout videos or whatever got the idea that you're supposed to do it for half an hour or 45 minutes or an hour. More than an hour. That's what makes it effective. And I just, personally, anecdotally, I've found that to be totally wrong. If you are able to carve out that time, amazing. If you're someone that just wants to get it done, and you're able to figure that out amazing. But if you're someone who gets 10 minutes in between phone calls, or gets 10 minutes, while you're waiting for, you know, your kid in the pickup line like that's valuable time that you can use to serve yourself. And I think there's so many great little HIT workouts you can see on YouTube, you know, 10 minutes of burn whatever it is, but something that really gets your heart rate up that really, you know, gets you out of breath for just a minute, I think is important. I think breathing deeply, we are reminded that we're alive, we're reminded that we have the ability to expand our lungs and take in new things and it resets, you know, my dopamine and serotonin. It makes me happy. I get this surge of positivity and effectiveness and productivity even just from those 10 minutes. And then if you're able even better to figure out, you know, how to get them in a couple times a day, it really starts to add up. So sweating every day, or at least getting out of breath. Sweating, you know, for a minute or two a day is really important. Physically writing down a to-do list is something that I personally desperately needed. I take tons of notes on my phone, but then I'm just constantly adding to that note taking. There's none of the gratification of crossing something off and feeling that completion of a task. So I've started to, at the start of each day, rather than sitting, you know, after I get the kids off to school, rather than sitting at my computer and immediately open my emails, which studies have shown really like just dramatically drops your productivity and makes you feel from the outset overwhelmed and just aimless, I sit at the table with a physical notebook and I write down here the urgent things I need to get to today. Usually, if I don't do anything else, these are the only things I have to get done. And then I said this was advice from a business friend of mine, I set a one hour timer of answering emails and I only answered emails for that hour in the morning and then I come back like an hour later in the afternoon to do it again. And that's, I mean, as a mom of four it also has been a way to limit what I feel is like the ability of people to constantly add to my to do list and constantly need and demand things from me so that I get to reserve some of that for myself and reserve some of that most importantly for my family and not feel like I'm every single day failing because I haven't gotten to every email that came in and so those have been two habits that I have found so valuable, particularly in this time where as we all adjust to, you know, more distance time and more time at home. And I mean all of my friends and myself included are like we've never been busier. Like things just feel so chaotic and heightened and busy more so than ever before, partly because we're always all constantly available. I mean in theory if you're never leaving your house, if everything's done by Zoom and phone call, whatever, like I should be able to reach you any time, right? And that's not how humans have ever functioned before. Your brain and your mind, and your happiness needs a break. So that's been how I try to carve out those couple bursts throughout the day, to just give myself a little Saturday.

Adam: Daphne, that's great advice. And you shared so much wisdom with listeners. One of the things that you said, which I truly loved is the importance of setting a direction. And even if you're not going to have very concrete goals, and if you're not the kind of person who wants to say, I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do that, and to your point, setting up a plan where you have to accomplish these seven things can either be too intimidating, or it could just not be you. As long as you're setting a direction that you want to take your life. If you set an overarching goal, one big thing that you want to accomplish, one big thing that you want to achieve, and you shift your focus toward that direction, it's going to make all the difference. And you're a living example of that. And I really love that message. And I'm with you 110%.

Daphne: Look, just to build on that, as you just put it, not making a decision is making a decision. And not setting a direction is setting a direction, you're just potentially not in the direction you want to be. So I feel that so intimately because I am someone who gets overwhelmed. I am someone who feels like, again, that's why I adopted these strategies, because I was feeling so scattered and frayed and like a shell, whereas I want it to be filled up and full of energy and vitality and fun. And, you know, that's why I also think it's really important to focus on what you can do, right? We expect a lot of ourselves, everyone does, but I think women especially feel super human, and our expectations for ourselves are really extravagant. And I think finding the little ways to manage expectations for yourself is critically important. How you talk to yourself is critically important and how you find time to relax is also critically important. It's why I love cooking and it's why I am so lucky to have a career in food because I do feel like it has this wonderfully dual restorative power because it's both calming and if you don't take it too seriously, you don't put a lot of pressure on yourself. Again, setting applications is important. It's a very cathartic, relaxing, calming experience to cook. And, you know, have a nice glass of wine and hang out with your family in the kitchen and whatever. And then when you sit down to the meal you get fueled up again and you get the joy of that again and however it is that you relax, I think making time for that on a daily basis is important too.

Adam: Daphne, I do want to ask you about cooking but before I do, I want to ask you about your daily routine to the extent you have one. I know being a mom of four little kids could make having a daily routine a little bit of a challenge but to the extent you have one, what is your daily routine and what are some things that you would advise listeners to incorporate into their lives on a daily basis to optimize their health and wellness?

Daphne: Yeah, I mean, I think I started the conversation thing. I wish I had more routine. But I do have a couple go-tos throughout the day that I find do give me a couple of bookends and a couple of little energy boosts and little bits of fun in my day and let me get through it as positively and productively as possible. So I'm usually up around six. The kids are sometimes up before me and just hanging out and sometimes they're not. Sometimes I get like a brief moment of quiet in my kitchen before they all show up. I do try to get at least that 10 minutes of just a quick cardio burn. I'll do it in my bedroom if I have to. I live in Florida so I'll step out on the lawn if I can, because I think a little outdoor time is awesome. And after that I will come into the kitchen and I will have my coffee first and foremost. And then I actually get the kids breakfast together and I try to eat something with them when I can. Sometimes it's just quick like an egg on toast type of situation. They're big pancake people and I've developed all kinds of amazing, healthy, fun pancake recipes that I share a lot on Instagram because I feel the question from parents I get asked most frequently is how do I get picky eaters to eat healthy foods and things like pancakes and mac and cheese and pizza and, you know, all different kinds of sweet and savory and carby things have these wonderful ability to absorb really healthy things into them, and then your kids don't even realize they're happening. So we do a lot of that. I take my vitamins every single day. I am a total supplement junkie. I was a kid who in college actually had to convert what they you know, they give all the students a desk and a bookshelf and I converted my bookshelf to like the apothecary and I had pill bottles, so many different vitamins and things that I, you know, got marketed to buy when I went to Whole Foods and all this stuff. And I'll be honest with you, something I realized is that supplements don't do a lot of good unless you actually take them. And as I got older, and busier, I just didn't have time to open 30 pill bottles and figure out what I should be taking when and you know, the vitamins are really important to take at specific times of the day as you but you absorb them most effectively and so that you're not overwhelming your system all at once. And so I am part of the Persona Pack. If you guys haven't heard about Persona Nutrition, it's these incredible personalized vitamin packets that you literally go on their website, personanutrition.com, and fill in this five minute survey. It lets you input all your information like male, female, dietary restrictions or goals or anything going on. If you're pregnant or breastfeeding. If you work out a lot. All your little life details, five minutes of a quick survey and it will give you this perfectly, you know, prescription of vitamins for each day. And the best part is they come in little packets, so you can literally tear them away and tuck them in your purse and have them like if you forget to take them at home. I always have my packs with me and my first two, so I never forget to take them. It's really easy to stick with. And I have a morning and an evening pack. So they're separated properly. It's just that it's made it so much easier for me to actually take my vitamins, which means I get the immunity boosting skin glowing and benefits of the supplements I take. And then I said I had coffee, right, I definitely have another coffee probably. And that's like the daily habits. I shared a little bit about the one hour of emails in the morning, one hour in the afternoon. I end up probably trying to call it quits for the day, I usually try to pick the kids up from school and then try to spend the afternoon with them. Do a little bedtime and then sometimes I will go out for dinner or we'll cook dinner at home. And it's you know, not every day looks like that. I just described an ideal day to you in terms of being able to carve out that time to be with my family. That's particularly high up on my list right now because it is the holidays and I'm one of those people that just feels so stressed by how fast the season goes and I'm trying to soak up every minute of enjoying it with my family and making it special for my family. I think we all need a little bit of extra holiday cheer right now. So that's my goal is to make sure I get that time in the afternoon. But there's some days where I’m like, look, you're working mom, you're trying to do a lot. There are always sacrifices and trade offs being made and I think I think as long as you take a couple minutes a day to feel good in your own skin and a couple minutes a day to make the people around you feel good in their eyes and know that you love them so much, then it's a success.

Adam: Daphne, so much great information. I hope that our listeners are taking notes. How do you motivate yourself on the days you don't feel motivated?

Daphne: I just do it. I mean that’s cliche and Nike has that sound. If you give yourself time to think about it, you won't do it. We're all smart, we can all figure out ways to convince ourselves we don't have to. And once you're doing it, you know, a habit takes over. So forming and then sticking with good habits and not thinking about it is the way to motivate when you don't feel motivated.

Adam: What's the biggest risk you've taken in your career and what advice do you have on how to make difficult decisions?

Daphne: I would say the biggest risk- there's no particular moment but it's the idea of social media as a really open platform and the idea of wanting to share vulnerably and authentically about highlights and lowlights in my life, I think, was something that I kind of took a leap of faith on hoping that I would land in the warm supporting arms of a mosh pit of people in the same boat, who felt like they got a glimpse of another human and that element and that experience. And that has not been my experience to date, which I feel so blessed and lucky to have experienced because I've definitely had, you know the trolls and the haters too. Certainly coming of age when I was 20 for my first ever TV experience, you know, seated side by side with real veterans of the industry and incredible people who were able to bring me along and teach me a lot. I definitely had my fair share of detractors and critics and learning to only take the advice and the commentary from people whose advice and commentary you would tolerate in real life was a critical growing up and glowing up moment for me that I, in the end, really value too.

Adam: I think that's great advice. What's the biggest misconception about celebrity and success?

Daphne: I think there's probably the same misunderstandings we have with anyone else, which is that their life looks so perfect and so easy, and everything makes sense to them. And I'm over here struggling and trying to figure it out and I think everyone feels like they're struggling and trying to figure it out. Obviously, there are variations in that and different degrees of that. But, you know, I think it's so funny, like, Stars: they're just like us, those columns that people do. And it's weird to me that we need to be reminded of that, like, these are not, you know, super humans. They're just people whose picture you've seen a lot. And I think remembering that everyone's life looks really good when you only see the parts of it they want you to see is probably important for everyone to remember.

Adam: What advice do you have on the topic of work life balance more broadly, and more specifically, on how to find the right balance between professional and familial goals and demands?

Daphne: I think moms inevitably get this question because there is this holy grail of actually finding a happy balance. And I think it's a pendulum. And I also think it's a constant recalibration, right? So like, today, I might be an A mother, a B wife, a C friend, a D employee, a F, you know, entrepreneur, and then tomorrow all those things can re-juggle, and they'll have a completely different grading system. And I think being okay with that, and being okay, that having consistency in the arenas you really need to perform in is important and doing everything perfectly is just probably not that sustainable. And I think some of the habits I've adopted recently have been helping me a lot. Those 10 minutes of me time, you know, even doing a skin care ritual, doing a quick mask before I go to bed, like whatever those 10 minutes look like are important. The not letting other people dictate how I spend my day in terms of constantly feeling available by email, or text or whatever, like feeling like I actually own a portion of how my day is scheduled was really important to me to get that balance back in order. And also to be gentle with yourself. Like if you feel like the holidays get really busy, and you're crazy and you feel out of sorts, start to, you know, start today, pick something new to do differently today. Don't be the crazy person that expects to not change anything and have something change, you know? So, like I said at the beginning, you're never going to reach the goal of total self acceptance, you're probably never going to reach the goal of total life balance, but being aware enough, and paying enough attention to know when you don't feel good in whatever you're doing, and then being able to adjust from there is critical of that.

Adam: For listeners who, like you, love cooking, what are some of the best tips you can share? And for listeners like me, who are not exactly inclined to invest a lot of time preparing food, what should we be mindful of?

Daphne: Great question. Something I learned early on in my cooking on TV days is that even when something goes horribly awry, you just call it rustic. And then people will pay $20 more for it. You're totally fine.

Adam: I'm writing that one down right now.

Daphne: All jokes aside, though, the other really nice thing about being in the kitchen is. as adults, there's so few places where we can be really pretty risk free. Try something new, make a mess, maybe not get it totally right. And like the literal worst thing that could happen is you have to get rid of that food and order pizza. And I think that’s important. I mean, I'm a really curious person. I would say that's probably one of my defining attributes to them. I just love people. I love to learn from them. And so I'm always trying new stuff and like not all my recipes go particularly well. I remember a pork butt that I probably almost killed my brother with because it was like a double whammy of both probably undercooked and also so fatty. I think he went into like, some kind of gallbladder arrest. It was horrible. So you know there's no I would say no matter how expert you are, you're always learning in cooking and you therefore as a beginner should never feel embarrassed to just start somewhere. For people who love to cook I would say something that can makes it much easier for me to cook on a regular basis is batch cooking and also what I keep on hand to make it easy on myself, especially when you're trying to cook healthy food that is not bad, tastes really good, and it's not like a chore to make. So batch cooking. By that I mean if I have to turn the oven on I'm making two of whatever I make. I make two rows of chickens at a time and like two trays of roast veggies. I'll make two pots of rice or grains or lentils or whatever it is and then we have one for the meal at hand and then we have one that I store as leftovers in the freezer or in a little Tupperware container in the fridge and that becomes really simple fixings for leftover meals, for salads, to go. When something takes a long time to make, make two of them and then you reap the benefits of that cooking investment twice. And in terms of stocking my pantry with healthy essentials that I find really make my cooking flavor boosted and easy. I'm talking about really top quality condiments and things like marinades like Thai chili sauce, something that would take you 40 minutes to an hour, many hours of fermenting- something like that to make on your own and the availability of really high quality stand-ins on the store and on store shelves or on Amazon that you can get right to your house and that just goes such a long way. Great barbecue sauces, hot sauces, chilies, I keep obviously boxed pastas and grains and things like that in my pantry. Beans, tons of beans and then in my fridge in my sort of countertop area that I'm looking at right now, I buy produce and protein pretty regularly like this was a big switch for me once I started cooking more professionally to what I used to like to do big shop trips, you know, early on in the week. And while that still proves to be more efficient for me in terms of my time, I end up wasting food because you forget you bought it, it goes bad, you're not inspired to make it anymore. Like whatever happens. And now with the advent of instacart and things that you can use to get stuff sent right to you, I find it keeps me inspired. It keeps me excited to cook by having fresh things, you know, maybe Monday and Thursdays I'll get fresh stuff into the house and that helps me stay excited about it. If you're not a big cook, I would say start as simply as buying a rotisserie chicken and just making like a gremolata to go on top of it, right? So chop up some basil or some parsley and a nice combo of capers, a little grated garlic, a little lemon zest, olive oil, salt, drizzle that over your cut rotisserie chicken, and you'll feel really good about it, you'll feel confident you'll see it you'll see how much the flavor is just boosted and elevated and how much competence you feel even just from that tiny little step of making a topping and I find that we’re, as humans, interested in going back to things that make us feel good. And sometimes people in bad relationships say the opposite. Maybe it works. There's something about it that makes you feel good too, which is the real perversion, but we want to feel good and I think finding little ways to boost your confidence and little ways to try something feel good in it will get you excited to try more.

Adam: I'm gonna stay away from your comment on relationships, but no comment. But great advice.

Daphne: Are you in a bad relationship?

Adam: No, no, no. I'm single. I'm gonna stay away from that because I have a lot of thoughts on it and not a lot of time left on the podcast. We could spend- man, we could spend an entire podcast or Daphne maybe off the air or we could do another episode on it.

Daphne: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I am that person at a dinner party that wants to skip the niceties of cocktail chatter and talk about the important things. I love talking about relationships. I was on a plane to L.A. years ago, I forget maybe like five or six years ago in coach and there were three of us across and the woman in the middle. I was in that window. The woman in the middle was getting divorced and the woman on the aisle was a divorce attorney. And we ended up spending the six hour flight from New York to L.A. talking, apparently, so valuably about like the relative merits of this relationship and the divorce and like all of what was going on and building in her brain and the divorce attorney and her like wisdom and thoughts on the process that women from rows back were getting up and coming to us and like chiming in and sharing their stories and thoughts on this. It was fascinating. I had this idea. I was like this should be a show, because you're trapped. You're not going anywhere. You know, you've got your captive audience. So I'll just say I love talking about relationships. I also just think you uncover so much about people from who they're closest with and how they spend their time that way. And so I just love that stuff.

Adam: It's funny, you mentioned that and again, Daphne, you and I, we could talk about relationships. It's a fun topic to talk about. But on the topic of airplane conversations, you and I are kindred spirits in the sense that I have this great story. I was traveling from New York to L.A. myself. And it was a morning flight, I think it was like, six o'clock or seven o'clock in the morning flight. And there was a girl who was next to me. And we were, I think, a row or two apart, and we started talking to each other. I think I noticed that she had some kind of USC paraphernalia. And I did my undergrad at USC. And we just struck up a conversation. And it turned out that she was an employee at USC, a development officer there. And we started talking for five minutes, which turned into the entire flight. And I don't think either of us planned for that. I think she was planning on taking six hours of sleep. And I was planning on reading or watching TV or whatever I was going to do. But I wanted to become really good friends and establish, yeah, she's great. I don't know she's listening to this podcast. But, Sarah, if you're listening, that was a cool connection. So I do want to ask the last question, which is, how can anyone develop a winning mindset?

Daphne: I think you have to reflect on where in your life you have felt like a winner before and then hold on to whatever strategies you employed to do that, whatever self talk you use to feel that, and try to replicate it every single day in small and big ways.

Adam: I like it. Daphne, thank you so much for joining us. And thank you for all of your great advice.

Daphne: Awesome, thanks, Adam.


Adam Mendler is the CEO of The Veloz Group, where he co-founded and oversees ventures across a wide variety of industries. Adam is also the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one on one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. Adam has written extensively on leadership, management, entrepreneurship, marketing and sales, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities and non-profit organizations.

Follow Adam on Instagram and Twitter at @adammendler and listen and subscribe to Thirty Minute Mentors on your favorite podcasting app.