I recently went one on one with Kim Carducci. Kim is the founder of Everything Athletes and the author of the new book The I of the Tiger.

Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. How did you get here? What experiences, failures, setbacks or challenges have been most instrumental to your growth?

Kim: Thanks for having me. The biggest experience that inspires me to do the work I’m doing today for athletes are my college years. I retired from Division I swimming at UNC after my freshman year; I was burned out, and it wasn’t likely I would make the Olympic team. After I retired, the total freedom I had as a 19-year-old in college was a blunt shock to the structured, curated lifestyle I had as an athlete. I didn’t know what to do, who I was, what to eat, how to make friends, anything. This identity crisis spiraled me into a deep depression, and I eventually was diagnosed with MDD. 

Adam: What do you hope readers take away from your new book?

Kim: I hope athletes take away actionable insights that build mental resilience when they experience the inevitable struggles of competing. I hope athletes see that there is a way to manage the emotional intensity of elite competition, and that when times get tough it is more than acceptable to ask for help. For anyone in the sports community (fans, journalists, parents, coaches, etc.), I hope this book sheds light on why athletes behave in certain ways and offers a better understanding of the athlete identity.

Adam: What are your best tips for top performers on the topic of mental health?

Kim: Top performers are usually the perfectionists - the ones critical of themselves to perform flawlessly. This can be a beneficial trait at times, but it’s healthy to grow your own awareness that the perfectionist trait taken out of context can be rather harmful. For example, a perfectionist basketball player may struggle with those perfectionist ideals in retirement without the battles of competition. We’re only human, after all, so building your knowledge around your behaviors and growing self-awareness is crucial to choose healthy behaviors and thoughts depending on your circumstance. Spirituality Teacher and Psychotherapist Anthony de Mello once said, “You only change what you understand. What you do not understand and are not aware of, you repress. You don’t change. But when you understand it, it changes.” 

Adam: In your experience, what are the keys to performing under pressure?

Kim: Performing with the right frame of mind, with helpful not harmful perspectives. All it takes is one thought to derail you. With a healthy perspective or mantra, you can avoid the pitfalls of pressure. Don Miguel Ruiz, a Toltec Spiritualist and Author, wrote a book called The Four Agreements detailing four principles to live your life by. One of the principles is “Always do your best”. It sounds simple, but for anyone who is competing or performing, this principle takes the pressure off your results. If you do the absolute best you can, no more and no less, how can you refute your performance?  

Adam: What do you believe are the defining qualities of an effective leader?

Kim: I believe effective leaders create open, communicative environments. No matter the setting (corporate, sports, family, etc.) a leader sets the tone that all voices are welcome. This helps members of the group feel valued and allows for new ideas and more effective changes.

Adam: How can leaders and aspiring leaders take their leadership skills to the next level?

Kim: Practice what you preach. Many people learn best by example, and if you’re a leader executing on the things you preach not only will your members be more inclined to follow suit but you will garner more respect from them. 

Adam: What are your three best tips applicable to entrepreneurs, executives and civic leaders?

Kim: Always be reading. Expose yourself to different kinds of knowledge to become aware of what else is out there. We live in a period where more content is being produced about any topic imaginable. Read a new book or a new article to pick up your own insights.  

Test things out. Be your own scientist. Once you’ve exposed yourself to a new sphere of knowledge, try out the tips or advice for yourself to see what is actually effective for you. We’re all different and even the advice in this post may or may not resonate with you. Test things out first and then ultimately decide if the change is right. 

Always say “yes” to connecting with others. According to researcher Brene Brown, connection is largely why we’re all here on this Earth to begin with. If you’re invited to a social event, a coffee meeting, a weekend trip, etc. just say “yes”. Social meetings don’t have to be an elaborately planned event with ulterior motives; you can simply say “yes” to meet someone new and observe how life is experienced from another person’s POV. You learn so much from others. 

Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received?

Kim: I’m not responsible for other people’s feelings. I used to take on the emotional burden of everyone around me, a defining characteristic of an empath. This contributed to anxious states and a draining lifestyle. Now, I have a better understanding that just as I manage my own mind, thoughts, and feelings, so can others. I’m not responsible for protecting every single person from feeling any negative emotion.   

Adam: How can anyone develop a winning mindset?

Kim: Simply desire it. Desire is the “swing vote” as Chris Bosh says. Those that achieve their goals, win the games and create real changes are the ones who want it more. If you have the will to develop a winning mindset, you will find the way.


Adam Mendler is the CEO of The Veloz Group, where he co-founded and oversees ventures across a wide variety of industries. Adam is also the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one on one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. Adam has written extensively on leadership, management, entrepreneurship, marketing and sales, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities and non-profit organizations.

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