Thirty Minute Mentors Podcast Transcript: The Skinny Confidential Founder Lauryn Evarts Bosstick

I recently interviewed Lauryn Evarts Bosstick on my podcast, Thirty Minute Mentors. Here is a transcript of our interview:

Adam: Our guest today is the founder of the Skinny Confidential. Lauryn Evarts Bosstick went from bored college student to creator of a community consisting of millions of people. Lauryn, thank you for joining us.

Lauryn: Thank you for having me.

Adam: You've become a massive online personality and a highly successful entrepreneur. But not all that long ago, you were a college student teaching fitness, bartending and not all that inspired by your academic pursuits. Could you take listeners back to how the idea for The Skinny Confidential emerged and what compelled you to make it happen?

Lauryn: Yeah, I was doing all the things that society told me I had to do and checking all the boxes that, you know, we're told when we're little like graduating from high school, going to college, working at night, doing all the things that I was supposed to do. And I looked around and I was like, oh, this is not going to work for me. Basically, I didn't realize that what that intuition feeling was, was that I always have been a true-bred entrepreneur. And I look back on my childhood, and there's so many things that I see where I'm like, oh, that's why I felt like that, or, oh, that's why I didn't want to, you know, listen to the teacher here, or that. I just can see things when I look back. And I think that once I had that a-ha moment of oh, like, I'm meant to be an entrepreneur, that's my purpose, I had a lot of clarity. And so simultaneously, why this was happening, I joined a sorority. And I remember I did the whole rush thing, I got into the sorority, and then they said, okay, it's $800. And I'm thinking, what do you mean, it's $800, I have no money. I'm a broke college student, I literally have $80 in my bank account, and I'm not going to pay for friends. And so I thought, I'm quitting, and I quit the next day. I was in the sorority for literally five minutes. And I said, I'm going to do this online, I'm going to do it better. And I'm going to connect the world. And the best way to do that, at the time- this is in 2010- was a blog. And blogging was not cool. It was not popular, it was not anything. No one knew how to monetize it, it was just, like, very new. And simultaneously, I was bartending at a very exclusive, wealthy kind of bar. And I remember telling, you know, some of the men there that I was going to be a blogger, they asked what I wanted to do. And I tell this story, because I think it's really important to any of your listeners to not listen to what people say, because one of the guys thatI knew was like, what do you mean, you're gonna be a blogger, he's sitting there, like laughing with his friends drinking a rusty nail. And he said, you're not gonna monetize from that. And he started laughing. And I found out a little later that he was the CEO of Airbag. And the reason I really like to tell this story is because when someone laughs at you about an idea that you have, you know, you're onto something, because he didn't see the whitespace. He didn't want to disrupt an industry, he was comfortable in his industry. And he didn't want to look at all the different ways that you could monetize. And for me, when I started the blog, I wasn't starting a blog, I was creating a brand. And how I did that was I took what's the foundation of the brand, okay, it's gonna be the blog, the blog is the mothership and off that the sky's the limit, right? You can do a book, you can do a podcast, you can do a product line, you can collab with things like Target or whatever it is. I knew I was creating brands. And so I really went into it with a long, long game approach. And so I launched it in 2011. And I didn't make one dime for three years. I did every single day. And, you know, I look back on that story. And I just think it's important to remind people because there's so many people that will tell you why you can't. And what I want to do for creators and people who are entrepreneurs is to constantly disrupt what people say you can't do.

Adam: Lauryn, I love that. And I think that it's such applicable advice, whether you're thinking about starting a business or whether you're working in a business, it's so much easier to say no than it is to say yes. And it's so much easier to destroy things than it is to build things, whether that's destroying something physically, or whether that's destroying someone's idea. So I think that it's important for anyone listening, to be able to take a step back, and have confidence in their own ideas, and in their own capabilities, to pull off whatever ideas they have, just like you were able to do, one of the things that you mentioned was so central to your ability to not only build The Skinny Confidential, but building into what it's become, is branding. And I wanted to ask you, if you could share with listeners, your best tips on the topics of branding, and personal branding?

Lauryn: Yeah, I think a brand is everything. I think, if I was not doing what I was doing right now, I would be a brand consultant. I think, in this day and age, with social media and all these different platforms, you have to have a brand and you have to have a mission. And you have to have a color palette and a font palette, and all these things make such a difference. And a great book to read. If you're listening, where to start is a brand story. It'll help you really refine what your messages and another one that's totally vintage, but works really well that I refer to as The Brand Gap. So those two books and The Brand Gap are recommended by Sean Neff, who is an expert brander. He did so many things. He's done so many brands. And I just think what I did when I started out is I went to Rite Aid. I got a poster board. I got every different color marker and paint. I went to Home Depot, I got all the paint swaps, I went to We Are Fabrics, I got all the different fabrics and textiles. I had hired a hand writer for $20 a month. I paid her for six months to write my logo. So it was a unique logo. I went on Craigslist and I found a web designer and I said I have no money. Can I pay you $50 a month for a year? And he said yes. And I basically built The Skinny Confidential in front of me on this poster board. So when I met with the web designer, I had this tangible item to say this is exactly how I want. And on this poster board, I created it over a six week period. And I always say give yourself six weeks. But that's it, you have to execute like talk is cute, it's cheap, you got to execute. So I had it in front of me for six weeks, I had every little detail how I wanted the reader to leave when they read it, what tips and tricks I would be having, what the website looked like, all the different kinds of fields and what my mission statement was. And basically what I wanted to create was this online resource for women where not only I share my tips and tricks, but I share other celebrities models, the everyday girl tips. And I wanted to feel very pink and cheeky and flamboyant and loud. But I wanted them, when they left the blog, to feel like they could take what they liked and leave what they didn't but apply certain things to their own life. So they were getting value out of it. And I really created that in front of me. And I think that that really helps when it comes to branding. And I think even if you have a podcast and you've had it for five years, or you have a blog, going back to that poster board and really refining what you're doing is important because there's so many creators out there and you can get caught getting whiplash looking at all of them. But you have to stay focused on what your brand is day after day, rinse and repeat. And I think what that comes down to on a micro-level is what are your fonts? What are your colors? What is your mission statement? What is your language? What is your copywriting? Am I happier with you or is it like a more doctorly voice? What is your plan? Warren Buffett always says to plan for 10 years. So for me, I looked down the line like, okay, right now I'm gonna do this, this and this and create these systems to get to these goals. So many people create goals, they don't create the systems. So I would say have those microsystems in your calendar. For instance, if you're writing a book, in your calendar there should be 11 to 12 write book every day, five days a week, seven days a week, whatever. You should have an alarm set, you should put your phone away and you should just concentrate on that. And I think those little systems and really knowing what your brand is and staying in your own lane with that really helps to create this beautiful foundation. That's a launchpad to launch whatever you want, whether it's a product, an e-book or a podcast, when you know your brand, that's the most important thing. There's nothing worse. We know it's been something that's not branded well. People like an aesthetic, and they want to be able to know exactly who you are within five seconds, they don't have a lot of attention.

Adam: You shared so many great tips. And one of the themes you highlighted was the importance of branding as it relates to launching a new business and launching a new product within your business. You've not only launched but have built and grown an incredibly successful community. How did you build The Skinny Confidential into the community that it is today, and what are your best tips for anyone listening on how to build and grow a large engaged audience or customer base?

Lauryn: Community is another pillar of my brand. And I think community should be a pillar of everyone who's online trying to build a brand because there is no platform without community. I think that we always put our audience first. I always say that, instead of focusing on getting more followers, focus on the ones you have. Serve them, they'll go out and tell their friends at happy hour about you. I've very much focused on the people I have. And they've been the influencers. I think that people need to understand that without community, like I said, there's no platform. So the community to me always comes first. When I first started blogging, bloggers were talking about their nail polish color and what they were wearing. And while I did want to incorporate that aspect into my content, it was important for me to take it a step further and see what other people were doing. Someone who's done a really great example of that is Oprah. Right? She's built up other people. It's not just Oprah, Oprah, Oprah, Oprah, Oprah. Dr. Phil, it's Dr. Oz, she's brought up other people. And so with our podcast network, your media 12 years later, like that's what it's about. You bring up other people, because how many times can someone hear about my outfit or my nail polish color? It's boring, it's not enough. So I think that that, again, is putting the community first, uplifting other people, whether it's someone who's supported my platform, or another influencer who I met who I think has a lot of talent. I think bringing other people up and getting outside of yourself really can create a strong, beautiful community.

Adam: That is such great advice and such a great perspective. And clearly the first step in you being in a position to uplift others was by lifting yourself up when you were uninspired and trying to figure out where to go, when you were starting your business. And so many people out there are bored or uninspired with something important with their work, their careers, their lives, with their relationships. What advice do you have for the many people out there who are trying to best navigate boredom or a lack of fulfillment, and a key aspect of their lives?

Lauryn: Yeah, I would say if you are bored and unfulfilled in what you're doing then change it. No one's gonna change it for you. Someone told me a long time ago that I really respect, there's this thing called designing your own future and creating your own future. If I was bored, and uninspired, I would create my own future, I would lay out the next year, the next six months, the next 10 years, see what that looks like, create my goals, create my systems and work backward. I think that success is a recipe, there's a lot of different things. There's, as you know, Adam, there's discipline, there's consistency, there's showing up, there's doing things that you don't want to do, there are moments when you're uninspired, there are times when you have to pull on your bootstraps, and you have to miss a birthday party or a family gathering. There's the aspect of constantly getting better. I think another big, you know, ingredient to success is to constantly be learning. So, I don't know, I don't know everything I don't ever want to know everything, like any chance I get, even if it's in the shower, I'm listening to a podcast, I'm listening to Audible. I'm learning from other people. I'm constantly bettering my mind. And it’s really also disrupting yourself. So going back to like the beginning of disrupting myself. So for me, one of those things was a podcast. We started our podcast four years ago. Podcasting was not cool at the time, still, but I felt that I needed a more intimate layer to my content. I was getting bored with Instagram. And so I disrupted myself. And like even now I'm like, okay, you constantly have to be like not getting too comfortable. I think that's important. And I think the main ingredient though- if we were baking a cake then this was the flour- would be the execution. There are so many people who have all those things I just named, but they can't execute. And I call them forever students. You don't want to be a forever student. You can be a student and still learn, but you simultaneously have to execute the execution. You have to put yourself out there, even if it's not perfect.

Adam: What advice do you have for the many people who struggle with that so much of entrepreneurship is taking the idea you have and making it happen? And as you know, as I know, as so many people listening know, there are tons and tons of great ideas out there. But execution is everything. What advice do you have for the many people listening in and asking themselves, how can I make this happen?

Lauryn: I would say, people start A to B. So when I wanted to write a book, I didn't think about the end project, I thought about the first page. When I wanted to launch a product that took four years. I thought about, okay, what's the first step? And the first step for me was finding a designer to design what was in my head. I think if you just start with the first step, I always say, lay your head down on the pillow and think of one thing you did today to move the needle a little bit closer. Every night, I go to bed, and I'm like, okay, what's one thing I did today. And it could be as simple as I did a giveaway that was really serving my followers. And just making sure that I'm constantly moving the needle. It's like, they remind me of that cartoon of the guy that's chipping away, and he's chipping away at this goal of mine, chipping, chipping, chipping. And right before the last chip, he turns around. Like you have to keep chipping little chips, there's been no epiphany in my career. I've been doing this for 12 years, every single day, seven days a week. I've been podcasting twice a week for four years. There's no epiphany where I woke up and I was viral or something crazy. It's been slow, like Chinese torture drip is. I don't mean that in a negative way, it sounds negative. But it's been like the rain filling up a bucket of water. Like it's been very slow, which I'm grateful for because I think that it's allowed me to really grow into my brand, and learn patience. But I think everyone's looking from A to Z. And they're looking at the finished product. And they don't realize just doing one thing a day, that's moving you closer towards your goal. And if you work nine to five, I would tell you to come home and from five to 6:30 work on that one thing.

Adam: Yeah, Lauryn I think that that's really important advice for listeners to take in because all too often we look at the end product. And by looking at the end product, it's easy for us to see it and say that it was inevitable. But the reality is that for anything of significance to be accomplished, it requires, to your point, a lot of hard work, a lot of commitment, day in and day out. Rome wasn't built in a day. And anything that any one of us wants to do requires a level of dedication, whether it's getting into tip-top physical condition, whether it's building a successful business, whether it's a topic we discussed earlier, which is building a large audience or building an engaged customer base for your business, all the same principles apply.

Lauryn: Exactly. I love Rome wasn't built in a day. That's so true.

Adam: And I think about that every day I work out.

Lauryn: Yeah, and working out is such a good example. Because even if you get to the end, like you're not going to stop, you're going to keep working out. Even if you get to the exact body that you want, you're still going to work out and for me, that's the same with work. It's like, embrace the journey. I'm not looking to get to the end.

Adam: I could not agree with you more. And I was actually just interviewed on a podcast and I gave pretty similar advice around the topic of entrepreneurship. When you look at your business. I don't think you really look at it at any point and say, I made it, I did it, I broke through. You look at it, and say, okay, I made a little bit of progress. I made a little bit of success. But there's this next milestone that I'm trying to hit. And when your mindset is focused on hitting that next big milestone, you're not focused on what you just achieved and what you just accomplished. And that's the mindset that allows us to be able to achieve big things.

Adam: Totally agree with you could not agree with you more. I think more people need to hear what you just said and are even taking notes on that, and looking at that every single day, and like what you said about working out and Rome being built in a day, there's all these little things that I think- I know that sounds stupid, but even writing it on little post-it notes and putting it on your mirror as reminders. I think people get discouraged because they're looking at the whole pie. And I would just tell them to just focus on one little thing a day. And if you want to write a book, whenever someone says, how do you do it? You write a page a day. And then by the end of the year, you have 365 pages. Yeah, I just don't have to have patience for excuses. Like, oh, the industry is saturated. No, it's not. There's billions and billions of people in the world, we're not talking about a gas station on one side of the road and someone else opening six gas stations on the other side. We're dealing with the world. If your passion is sea monkeys, or raising bunnies, go and niche down on that and find other people in the world who are interested. There's so much opportunity right now, the saturation excuse is old. There's so much opportunity to execute right now more than ever, there's so many different outlets. If you don't like to be on video, then write a blog. If you don't like to write, then talk on a podcast. If you don't like to do either of those, then take Instagram photos and micro blog. There's so many things that you can do to promote whatever you're doing that I just don't have patience. And I'm just being really honest for excuses here. I don't think there's a lot of excuses. And when I hear people say, oh, it's so saturated, or how do you write a book, you write a book, like I just had my page a day. It really is that simple. I think we overcomplicate everything.

Adam: Lauryn, I'm gonna ask you about your new book. But before I do, I want to ask you about something that I caught when I was looking at The Skinny Confidential and there's a section on your platform titled realness. And that just stood out to me because it just defines who you are. Raw, in your face, no topic off-limits. It's the real talk that is not only your brand, but you. And I'm gonna ask you the same question, and the question is as follows; how did you develop a level of comfort in your own skin to get to the point where you feel comfortable saying whatever it is that you want to say no matter how taboo The topic is? And what advice do you have for anyone else on how to become so comfortable in their own skin?

Lauryn: Yeah, I think that's a really good question. I don't think I've ever been asked that. I think one thing is I have been an oversharer since I was born. And I think if you're not an oversharer, you shouldn't go be an oversharer, be whatever is authentic to you. And I don't like the word authentic, that much that's being thrown around so much on social media. But being an oversharer is incredibly authentic to me. I'm very comfortable with sharing how I feel. I'm very comfortable with, you know, talking the way I want to talk, saying what I think and I think that comes down to just being self-aware and understanding that that's how my brain works. I think you have to really niche down on how your brain works. If you're not an oversharer, like I said, don't overshare. As far as confidence, my light taught me something really, really important. And I think confidence comes from the promises that you keep to yourself. And so if you tell yourself, I'm going to work out five days a week and you work out one day, it's going to chip away at your confidence and I look at my entire life- if say I'm going to write a book, and I don't that's chipping away at my confidence and promises that I make to myself could be anything like I'm going to get off my phone for an hour and be present with my daughter or I'm going to launch product in 2021 whatever that is. I think it's really important to make sure you keep the promises to yourself. And I also think I try to surround myself with very open-minded people. I created all my platforms with a very open-minded feeling. My parents were very good at creating an environment that was very nonjudgmental. I could have told them whatever. I could have told them that I wanted to be the next Heidi Fleiss, an expert, like them, they would have been like, okay, like, you know, go execute on it. So I think my theme of my childhood, I always say is like, figure it out, you want something, go get it. And it was never oh, I shouldn't do that, you shouldn't do that. So I definitely would attribute some of that to my parents. But moving forward, I am very interested in and surrounding myself with people who I don't agree with all the time. We're in this day and age where you have to have the same politics or the same religion or the same- I don't want the same. I want all different kinds of eclectic people around me, who are open-minded and nonjudgmental, and open to other opinions. I have always been like that since I've been little. I don't want someone who's going to sit there and agree with me and shake their head. And I think that, because I choose those types of people to surround myself with, I'm more comfortable with being who I am, because I surround myself with people who aren't judgmental.

Adam: And I think that that's really important when it comes to leadership because all great leaders require a diversity of opinions around them. And if all you have is yes men and yes women then you're never going to come to the best answer possible, you're never going to be able to lead to the best of your abilities. So surrounding yourself with people who disagree with you, surrounding yourself with people who are comfortable in their own skin, who have strong voices, and who aren't afraid to speak up is so important. And, as promised, I do want to ask you about your new book, The Skinny Confidential: Get the F*ck Out of the Sun. Routines, products, tips and insider secrets from 100+ of the world's best skincare gurus. One of the skincare gurus who you interviewed for the book was Chriselle Lim, who was previously a guest on this podcast, 30 Minute Mentors. So two questions for you. Number one, why wasn't I interviewed for the book? And number two, I'll ask you the same question that I asked Chriselle; what is your single best skin care tip for women and for men?

Lauryn: You weren't interviewed for the book, because I've never seen your skincare routine. I'd have to examine it with a fine-tooth comb, feel free to email it to me, and I'll look into it. But every guy should have a skincare routine. And there's a whole chapter in there on how to manipulate your man into skincare. And I interviewed my husband on how to have a 10 step routine because I tricked him into it. And I think that Purcell was picked because she is incredible when it comes to skin. She knows all the tips, tricks and secrets. I also interviewed a lot of podcasters, a lot of influencers, doctors, experts, but I am the guide throughout the book. So it's not like you're gonna get a book full of just, you know, everyone's interview I'm guiding you through, we're having happy hour together. It's totally like this very boozy brunch experience. You can open the book to any page and you can find something that you can take away for your skin. So we're not just talking about for your face, we're talking about for your tongue, how to clean your tongue, we're talking about your neck, your boobs, your feet, your toes, your knees, every single, you know, area of the skin. There's everything from breast milk facial tips in there to lymphatic drainage to cryotherapy. I find the best skincare secret for me is fighting inflammation. I think we constantly wake up puffy and there's been no cure for it. So I created the Hot Mess ice roller, which is an ice roller that every single person in my life, men, my dad, everyone is obsessed with. You wake up and the first thing I do is I put my ice bar on the face and that's ice and it's as simple as that it's a freezing cold roller so it's going to help fight puff- hangover puff, plain puff, rash puff, whatever kind of puff that we all experience. So my beauty tip would definitely be ice and, listen, I'm not even saying buy my ice roller. I'm saying just wake up in the morning and put a huge bowl of water and ice on your counter and dunk your face into it. It's gonna tighten your face. It's good for inflammation. And it gets you going. It revs you up.

Adam: Interesting. Learn something new every day. In our remaining time, I want to ask you a few rapid-fire questions. Mistakes. We all make them regularly and learn from them. What is the greatest failure that you've experienced? How did you manage it and what did you learn from it?

Lauryn: I fail every single day. I think one of the hardest things in business has been going from a solopreneur to an entrepreneur. I was beating to the tune of my own drum. And then I had to bring on a team and delegation and leading a team was really hard. For me, it still is every single day. I think as a mother, one of the hardest things is being present in the moment. Like, you know, getting off my phone. I feel mom guilt all the time. And I think, you know, I've had all kinds of adversity when I was younger. I've written about it on the blog and the podcast. I think that those are maybe, I guess you could sit and consider them, like, I don't know about failures, but hardships. Um, I think that that's part of the gig, when you're in the ring. You asked me earlier about confidence. I think I've accepted that not everyone's gonna like me, I'm not for everyone. That's okay. It's part of the gig. And part of the gig is my failures every single day. It's the people that pick themselves up day after day after day, that I really think, you know, garner this huge success and I'm in no means talking about myself here, I just want to make that clear. So I think if you embrace that there's hardship and you embrace that there's failure and you embrace that not everyone's gonna like you, you'll have a much easier time.

Adam: Your audience primarily consists of millennials and Gen Z., two audiences that seem to be misunderstood by many. What should leaders of all ages understand about millennials and Gen Z-ers?

Lauryn: I think that they should understand that millennials and Gen Z-ers are going to constantly be disrupting themselves. They have a way shorter attention span. And instead of looking at it as a negative, I think people need to look at it as a positive. Whenever I hear people bashing a different generation, it makes them seem so old, even when I'm 70 years old, in a rocking chair on my porch, hopefully having like an aperol spritz, I will not be bashing the younger generation. I think it's very aging. And I think it's very bitter. And I don't think it's progressive. So I think what people should understand about millennials and Gen Z is that they're doing it their own way on their own terms. And maybe it's not like how you did it, or how your grandparents did it. But it's unique. And get with the times.

Adam: You're speaking to an old millennial here so we're speaking the same language. What can anyone listening do to better excel personally and professionally?

Lauryn: I think you can start as easily as getting your brand under control. And whether that's your personal brand, or your business brand. I mean, I even have a sheet of how I want my life to go. And listen, it's not going to always go like that. But I have my plans laid out for what I hope will happen. I think manifesting that is really important. So I would sort of have a theme for your life, whatever that looks like, you know, my husband and I have very clear goals and a vision for our life, personally and professionally. And I think that that's helpful for everyone. So I would get clear on what the brand is for both of those. And that's just maybe it's as easy as waking up and doing the morning pages by Julia Childs, which is just three pages a day where you do a brain dump and you just start writing and getting really clear. I think having clarity and a vision for your life is really important than just waking up and just doing what you're supposed to do every day. mindlessly with no purpose. Being mindful about your life is important. It's your life.

Adam: I love it. Lauryn, thank you for all the great advice and thank you for being a part of Thirty Minute Mentors.

Lauryn: Thank you for having me. You’re an incredible interviewer and I really appreciate it. That was fun. I had a lot of fun too.


Adam Mendler is the CEO of The Veloz Group, where he co-founded and oversees ventures across a wide variety of industries. Adam is also the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one on one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. Adam has written extensively on leadership, management, entrepreneurship, marketing and sales, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities and non-profit organizations.

Follow Adam on Instagram and Twitter at @adammendler and listen and subscribe to Thirty Minute Mentors on your favorite podcasting app.