Adam: You serve in a senior leadership role in an organization of 60,000 people. In an organization of 60 people, there are going to be conflicts. In an organization of 60,000 people, there are going to be a lot of conflicts. What are your best tips on the topic of conflict management?
Lisa: You don’t waste any time, do you? Conflict is everywhere: in families, in friend groups, and in organizations. But here’s the thing: conflict can be a good thing. It’s up to leaders to make it constructive.
The healthiest teams are the ones where people feel safe to disagree. When you create space for open, respectful debate – where people bring their perspectives, backgrounds, and worldviews – you get better outcomes. As a leader, your job isn’t to solve the problem yourself. It’s to bring it to the team and help them solve it together, using their strengths.
And once you’ve solved it, ask: where do we pivot? What did we learn? Maybe we didn’t get it exactly right, and that’s okay.
I always say, if you’re going to raise a concern, great, but come with a solution in mind. Conflict should lead to progress.
Someone once told me something that really stuck: when we’re in conflict, my job is to be curious about why you see things differently, not to plan my rebuttal. That’s the difference between listening to respond and listening to learn. When teams adopt that mindset, everything shifts.
Adam: How do you avoid conflicts getting to a place where they lead to real damage?
Lisa: I’ve seen plenty of situations where conflict feels like a dead end and two people just can’t seem to work together. Usually, that happens because communication broke down, and there wasn’t enough accountability for how they were treating or listening to each other.
To avoid that kind of damage, you need to create a culture where people are open to listening, really listening. But if things do escalate, and you’ve missed it as a leader, you have to step in. Sometimes that means putting the two people in a room and saying, “We’re not leaving until we work through this.” Not as a facilitator, but as a mediator, helping them hear each other’s worldview, find common ground, and build a social contract for how they’ll move forward.
And it doesn’t stop there. You have to keep checking in, making sure the relationship is improving over time.
That said, sometimes it just doesn’t resolve. And when that happens, you have to be willing to make changes.
Adam: How do you know when you’ve reached that point?
Lisa: You know it’s time to make a change when the team can’t move forward, when open dialogue breaks down, and trust is gone. Conflict often stems from a lack of trust when people stop believing in each other’s intentions or actions.
As a leader, your job is to build and protect that trust every day. But if it erodes and you can’t rebuild it, that’s your signal. That’s when you need to consider shifting the team or making changes.
Adam: You’ve been reading my mind. As I’ve been listening to everything you’ve been sharing, the word that I’ve been thinking about is trust. In order for you, as a leader, to be able to resolve conflicts, you have to be able to create and sustain trust between the two parties that are in conflict. Without that trust, that conflict is going to remain.
Lisa: Absolutely, trust is foundational. When you step into a new leadership role, you have to start by trusting your team. That’s the baseline. They don’t need to earn it; you give it. But your trust? That’s something you have to earn from them.
That shift in mindset is powerful. It shapes how you build the environment: one where people feel safe, respected, and empowered.
It also shows up in how you hire. Strong leaders bring in people who are talented, often better than themselves in certain areas. That’s how you build a high-performing team. When people know they’re surrounded by capable peers and supported by a leader who believes in them, trust grows. And with that trust, you can do great things together.
Adam: How as a leader do you build trust?
Lisa: I recently spoke with a retired CEO who led a hugely successful global company, and he told me the two qualities that guided his career were humility and vulnerability. That really stuck with me.
To build trust, you need both. Humility means being willing to ask for help, admit when you’re wrong, and show grace when others are. Vulnerability is about being open – sharing who you are, what you believe, and showing that you’re about more than just yourself. You’re about the team, the purpose, the vision.
When a leader models those traits, it sets the tone. The team sees it, feels it, and starts to reflect it. And that’s when trust really takes root and amazing things can happen.
Adam: What mistakes have you made in trying to mediate conflicts, or what mistakes have you seen others make in trying to mediate conflicts, and what have you been able to learn from those experiences?
Lisa: That’s such a great question. I really believe we don’t talk enough about mistakes, yet they’re often where the biggest growth happens, as long as we’re paying attention and not repeating them.
One of the most common mistakes I’ve seen and made is trying to placate both sides in a conflict. Telling each person what they want to hear just to keep the peace. It might feel easier in the moment, but it avoids the real issue and usually makes things worse.
Leaders sometimes try to separate people instead of bringing them together. But real resolution comes from facing the conflict head-on, as a team. It’s like a symphony: you can’t have two musicians playing out of sync. They have to find a way to make the music work together.
Avoiding conflict might feel safer, but it only delays the inevitable. The better path is helping people work through it together.
Adam: Do you have any other best practices to follow or pitfalls to avoid on the topic of conflict management?
Lisa: If you’re new to leadership, one of the best things you can do early on is get comfortable with feedback,both giving it and asking for it. Make feedback a normal, positive part of your culture. Think of it as coaching, not criticism. It’s about helping each other grow.
Also, don’t fall into the trap of thinking you need to have all the answers. Bring your team into the problem-solving process. That’s where the best and strongest solutions come from.
Adam: What are the keys to holding yourself accountable?
Lisa: Accountability starts with clarity, knowing where your organization is headed, understanding your role in that journey, and holding yourself to the standard of not letting your team, your clients, or yourself down.
It also means being honest about your own expectations and following through. But it doesn’t stop with you. True accountability includes holding your peers, your team, and even your leaders to the same standard. It’s about creating a culture where everyone is responsible for showing up and delivering their best.
Adam: How do you do that?
Lisa: You need to define the goal, short-term and long-term, and make sure everyone understands it. A strong vision is great, but turning that vision into action is what really matters.
That means clearly outlining roles and responsibilities. Who’s doing what? How are we measuring progress? What are the leading indicators that show we’re on the right path, and what are the lagging indicators that reflect the final results?
Too often, people focus only on the outcome. But how you get there, your efficiency and effectiveness, is just as important. That’s how you build accountability into the process and create a rhythm for getting things done.
Adam: What are some of the inputs that you encourage anyone at any level to start focusing on as they examine what they’re actually achieving every day?
Lisa: Pay attention to how you spend your time. What are the activities you’re doing each day, and how effective are you at them?
Whether it’s a client meeting or approving underwriting, don’t just look at the outcome. Look at how the activity itself is going. That’s why it’s so important to build metrics into the process and not just at the finish line.
We have tools today, like sales platforms, that help track this. And soon, generative AI will make it even easier to see where we’re following up well, or where we’re not. But whether it’s manual or tech-driven, the goal is the same: measure how we’re working, not just what we’re producing.
Think of it like sports. It’s not just about game day, it’s about how you practice. That’s where real improvement happens.
Adam: You mentioned the importance of utilizing tools. Do you have any that you would like to share that you think are relevant?
Lisa: I don’t have a one-size-fits-all tool to recommend; it really depends on the business. But what’s universal is the discipline behind how you lead.
Start by clearly defining roles and responsibilities. Then, identify what you can measure daily or weekly to track progress. One of the most effective tools isn’t software, it’s a consistent rhythm of one-on-one meetings.
Meet with your direct reports weekly, even if it’s just for 30 minutes. At the start of the week, talk about what they plan to accomplish and what success looks like. At the end of the week (or the start of the next), review what worked, what didn’t, and where support is needed. I call it “assess and deploy.”
That kind of regular, focused coaching builds accountability and trust. And don’t hesitate to ask your own manager for the same. Set a regular cadence and come prepared with an agenda. It shows initiative and keeps communication strong.
Adam: You mentioned your boss as a really helpful person within the organization who can help keep you accountable. Who are some other people that you could potentially turn to help you with accountability?
Lisa: It’s so important to build a network of people who aren’t tied to your success – people who don’t need anything from you and vice versa. These are the folks who’ll give you honest feedback, support you, and help you grow.
Whether you’re just starting out or stepping into a new role, find peers who are on a similar journey. They don’t have to be in your direct circle, but they should be people you trust and can learn from. If your organization offers cohort programs, take advantage of them. Those relationships can last a lifetime.
But building that network takes discipline. It’s not just about getting support, it’s about giving it, too. And make sure you include people who will tell you the truth, even when it’s hard to hear. That kind of honesty, rooted in care, is what really helps you grow.
Adam: How do you find that?
Lisa: You find it by being intentional. The key is reciprocity – being willing to support others just as much as you hope they’ll support you. That’s how you create a social contract that really works.
Adam: Are there pitfalls to avoid or other best practices to follow when it comes to holding yourself accountable?
Lisa: When it comes to accountability, start with yourself. Before pointing fingers or looking outward, ask: What role did I play? What did I do well? What could I have done differently?
Self-accountability is the foundation. Once you’ve done that work, then you can look outward to your teammates, your leader, your broader environment, and ask for the support or accountability you need.
It’s also about owning your growth. If you want regular feedback or one-on-ones with your manager, ask for them. Show up prepared. That’s how you take charge of your performance and your career.
Adam: What advice do you have for anyone approaching a job interview?
Lisa: First, bring energy. If you can, do a few jumping jacks before the interview! If not, do them in your head. The point is to show up with enthusiasm and presence.
Second, do your homework. Know the company, understand the role, and come in with thoughtful questions.
And most importantly, be yourself. Don’t try to be who you think they want. Be authentic. That’s what people connect with.
Adam: Those are such great tips, and each one of them can be a game changer. Any one of those tips can be a game changer because oftentimes we go into job interviews and we’re really focused. We’re focused on something. We’re focused on the job that we want to get. We’re focused on the person that we’re interviewing with. We’re focused on the questions that we think we’re going to be asked. And that tunnel vision, while important, can be really detrimental, and you can lose sight of the fact that you have to show up as your best self. You have to put your best foot forward. Bring as much energy as you can, as much enthusiasm as you can. And at the end of the day, it’s ultimately on you to create a human connection, because as much as the person interviewing you wants to know that you’re smart, wants to know that you’re qualified, wants to know that you’re a good fit, they want to know that you’re the kind of person that everyone in the organization is going to want there. And how are they going to know that? By getting to know you and deciding, do I like you? Do I not like you? That ultimately is the big question, and it’s on you to show up as your most likable self. How do you do that? By following your advice, Lisa.
Lisa: One way to create that connection is by asking thoughtful questions, ones that get the interviewer talking. It not only shows your curiosity, but it helps you learn more about them and the culture.
Remember, you’re evaluating them too. You want to know if this is a place where you’ll thrive. So go for the job, absolutely, but know that getting the offer gives you the power to choose. That mindset helps you show up with confidence and authenticity.
I always tell my kids: get the offer first. Then decide if it’s right for you.
Adam: What are the types of questions that you think candidates should be thinking about asking?
Lisa: It also helps to ask questions that reveal something about the person and the culture. For example: “What do you love most about working here?” or “What’s something you’d like to see improve?” These kinds of questions give you insight into how they think, what they value, and whether they bring a positive mindset.
You can ask recruiters the same. Listen closely to how they talk about the company. Do they sound genuinely excited? And don’t forget to ask about culture: “What’s your favorite part of the culture here?” That can tell you a lot about whether it’s the right fit for you.
Adam: And a really important takeaway is: ask questions that you want the answer to. Don’t ask questions that you think are going to make you look smart. Don’t ask questions that you think the other person wants you to ask. Ask questions that you want to ask. Ask questions that you want answered.
Lisa: That’s such great advice. I remember early in my career being told to ask questions like, “How were earnings last quarter?” even when I already knew the answer. The idea was it would make me sound smart. But it felt forced.
You’re absolutely right: ask the questions you genuinely want answered. That’s how you learn what you need to know and how you show up as your authentic self. It makes for a much better conversation on both sides.
Adam: And if you ask questions about how their earnings went, they’re going to make a certain assumption about you. And that assumption may or may not be accurate. It probably will be inaccurate. It will drive the conversation in a certain direction that isn’t going to be helpful for you in understanding what you need to understand from that conversation. For this whole process to be successful, it ultimately comes down to authenticity. Showing up as your authentic self, being you, and trying to really get a feel from the person who you’re sitting across the table from: Who are you? What is this company all about? Am I the right fit? Yeah, you want to sell yourself, but you also want to make sure that you’re doing it in a way that is authentic to all parties. Because you could win the battle and lose the war, and that isn’t going to do you any good.
Lisa: Absolutely. That authenticity matters because if you’re going to work somewhere, you want to be able to show up as your real self every day. And that starts in the interview. Ask what you truly want to know. It’ll lead to a better conversation and a better decision for everyone.
Adam: What are some other mistakes that you see interviewees make, and how could they be avoided?
Lisa: One of the biggest mistakes I see is giving an answer that takes up the entire interview. Being clear and concise is key. Make your point, then pause. Let it be a conversation, not a monologue.
At the same time, don’t swing too far the other way. Make sure you’re actually answering the question. Read the room and watch the interviewer’s body language. Are they engaged? Are they leaning in? That feedback helps you stay on track and keep the conversation productive.
Adam: Body language is such an important topic. As an interviewee, what body language should you focus on emanating, and what body language should you focus on avoiding?
Lisa: Smiling when it feels natural, showing energy, and making eye contact. Those go a long way. Even over video, your facial expressions and tone can help create connection.
Try not to let nerves take over. If you’ve prepared and you’re showing up as your authentic self, that’s already a win. I know saying “don’t be nervous” can make people more nervous, but remember, if you get the job, great. And if they get you, they’re lucky too.
Avoid disengaged body language like looking away or seeming uninterested. And especially in virtual interviews, be intentional about how you show up on screen. But don’t overthink it. Just be present, be prepared, and be yourself.
Adam: How do you prepare effectively for interviews so that you can get to that place?
Lisa: Let me share a quick story. In my twenties, I really wanted a role in what was then a new concept of bank branches inside grocery stores. I interviewed for a district manager position and didn’t get it. But instead of walking away, I called the hiring manager and recruiter to ask for feedback: what I did well, what I could improve. That part’s key: don’t just ask for feedback, really listen and dig in.
When another role opened up, I went all in. I spent a day in a supermarket branch, asked questions, learned how it worked from the inside. So when I walked into the next interview, with six people across the table, I was ready. I could speak their language, and I could see myself in the job. And I crushed it.
The takeaway? Not getting the job isn’t failure, it’s feedback. Use it. Prepare in ways that go beyond the obvious. Do the research, get hands-on if you can, and show up with insight and energy. That’s what makes the difference.
Adam: Is there anything else that you think everyone should know about how to effectively and successfully interview?
Lisa: The last thing I’d say is be kind to yourself. Go into every interview seeing it as a positive experience, whether you get the job or not. If it doesn’t work out, it just means something better is ahead. And if it’s a role you really wanted, remind yourself: it’s their loss. You showed up as your best, and that’s what matters most.
Adam: Such important advice, and it really goes back to what you just shared a minute ago, which is that if you don’t get the job, that’s not the end of the world. In fact, if you don’t get the job, it could really be a blessing in disguise. And a lot of that has to do with the importance of two-way interviewing and understanding that you need to get the right job for you. It’s not about getting this job. It’s not about checking the box. It’s not about the accomplishment. It’s not about your ego, and am I getting accepted or am I getting rejected. It’s about the end game. What’s the purpose of the interview? The purpose of the interview is not to get a job, but to get the right job for you.
Lisa: I love that. 100%. It’s not just about getting a job, it’s about finding the right one. And if one door closes, there’s probably a window open that you just haven’t seen yet. Trust that it’s there. The right fit matters more than the quick win.
