Never Become Complacent: Interview with Olympian Naya Tapper
I recently went one on one with rugby player Naya Tapper. Naya will be participating in the 2021 Olympic Games this summer and will also be a part of the new rugby sports league Premier Rugby 7s.
Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your story and your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. What is something about you that would surprise people?
Naya: One thing about me that would surprise people is that I never wanted to be a professional athlete. My father lectured us numerous times about prioritizing our studies over sports because sports were temporary. I watched my brother reach his dreams of going pro for football and watched it pass by just as fast. That was reassurance for me that getting my degree was most important for being successful long term in life. When I got into rugby and realized I could go pro in the sport, I had some interest but not enough to make me sign a contract two months into playing for my college club team (true story). My last semester of college, they offered me a contract again and I finally accepted. Before doing so, I had a chat with the head of our physical therapy department and she encouraged me to go for it. She told me that my talents wouldn't last forever so taking advantage of them while I have them was important. That day I decided to go for it and haven't looked back since. I wonder if she remembers that conversation or knows how far I have come partly because of her.
Adam: How did you get here? What experiences, failures, setbacks or challenges have been most instrumental to your growth?
Naya: I am where I am today because I decided to do something opposite of what my “life plan” was. I tried a new sport 5 years ago just for fun at UNC-Chapel hill that has brought me some amazing experiences and relationships. I had been playing all four years and became a really well-known rugby player at the college level. I was ready to finally take it to the next step after initially declining a contract for the national team my freshman year after playing for 2 months. I wanted to finish school and get my degree and by waiting until my last semester I was able to do that. It was a great accomplishment for me to finally make it to the professional level in a sport I had started so late but it definitely came with some challenges. The setback that was most instrumental to my growth was being cut from the team after four months of being there. When I first was brought in, I was one of the fastest girls on the team but not that great at the skills that rugby required. I was able to slip through the cracks at the college level, but I learned pretty quickly that that would not be the case at the professional level. My first four months I went on tour with the team which is rare for a newbie and did well there. We eventually ended up having a coaching change and this is where things took a left. The new coach ended up cutting me from the team because he didn't think I matched the skill level of the girls I was playing with(which was 100% true). I was devastated. My entire life, I was always good enough. I had never been cut from a team so I was out of my element. Mind you, I was also panicking because I had just shipped my car out to Cali from NC along with all of my belongings. What was I going to tell my family and friends? I felt like a failure for the first time in my life. I cried when the coach broke the news but there was a bright side to this situation. Even though he thought I wasn't good enough skill-wise at the moment, he did see potential and believed I was a rare breed with my size, speed and power. Because of this, he offered to have me train in at an academy and once I equipped the skills I needed, we could circle back and see if I was up to par. I was ready to go home and just go back to my original life plan before rugby came around, but after talking to my parents, they wouldn't let me! They knew that failure was an opportunity to get better; to get stronger, menatlly and physically. This was the first adversity I had dealt with, and thanks to my parents, I was able to find the light. I ended up training hard for 5 months under the academy and eventually was brought back onto the team. The rest is history! This moment taught me that I was going to have to work hard for the things that I wanted. Talent would only take me so far and becoming complacent in that was the opposite of what I needed to do. I'm glad this happened to me because I came out a better version of myself and learned so many important lessons. And I will forever be grateful for that coach because of that.
Adam: In your experience, other than natural talent, what are the defining qualities of a superstar athlete?
Naya: The defining qualities of a superstar athlete are mental strength, discipline, and respect. Mental strength is very important when it comes to pushing yourself when things get hard, dealing with stressful situations that WILL come, and working through your flaws. I believe some of the best athletes in the world currently prioritize their mental health and that's a part of what makes them superstars. Discipline is important because as you get older, a lot of things are in your control and on your time. You won't always have someone breathing down your back telling you what to do all the time. You have to want to do it or they will find someone who will. If you don't bring importance to the things that matter and put actions to those things whether they are enjoyable or not in the moment, you won’t reach the success you're reaching for. Last is respect. Giving respect usually leads to receiving respect which is important for anyone. You have to respect your teammates, you have to respect the coaches, you have to respect the game, and you have to respect yourself. Doing so will lead you to success in my eyes.
Adam: What are the best lessons you have learned through your career in sports that are applicable to those of us who will never earn a living on the field?
Naya: Never become complacent! I struggled and still struggle pushing myself to the next level if it requires working harder than I have to. I was stuck in this mindset for a while until I worked with my current coach. He has always pushed me to reach my full potential and more on the rugby field and I have been able to use this newfound mindset in everything else I am involved in off the field. Even when my skills were good enough or could take me to incredible places, he was always there presenting me with ways of how I could get better. I am a lot better now with motivating myself to do the extra bits and adding new tools to my toolbox and I can thank him for that. Anytime I am faced with a challenge and feel the urge to shy away, I think of him and I #goscared!
Adam: In your experience, what are the defining qualities of an effective leader?
Naya: The defining qualities of an effective leader are patience, compassion, courage, open-mindedness, drive, and selflessness.
Adam: How can leaders and aspiring leaders take their leadership skills to the next level?
Naya: Learning how to work with all different types of people will take your leadership skills to the next level. One of the hardest things to do as a leader is knowing how to lead others. Everyone doesn't like being led the same, so experience working with a diverse group of people will help you navigate this area of leadership. Being able to shapeshift depending on who you are talking to or dealing with, or playing with makes each individual feel understood. It's hard but I believe it's worth it in the end.
Adam: What are your three best tips applicable to entrepreneurs, executives and civic leaders?
Naya: I have three tips for you. Never get complacent. There is always room for improvement and an opportunity for you to get to another level you never knew existed. When you think you've reached your highest potential, keep looking! Second, don't stress over the things that are out of your control. This will save you a lot of unnecessary stress that no one needs. If it is out of your control. Let it go! Lastly, network, network, network! I've been told many times that it's not what you know but who you know and life has shown the truth in this statement for me many times. Go out of your comfort zone and talk to people you don't know, learn about what they do, and build those connections. I can promise you it will come in handy in the future whether you're looking for work, references, or a helping hand in a situation you may be unfamiliar with.
Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received?
Naya: The single best advice I have ever received is that everything happens for a reason. Once I started believing in this statement, life became a lot easier, stress became less apparent, and my mind felt free. Life is very unpredictable and no matter what, It will never go how you planned. I used to get so upset when things didn't go how I felt they should have and it used to turn me into a negative nanny. Over time I learned this advice and started accepting things as they were. I learned to not stress over things that were out of my control and to focus on the positives of every situation no matter the outcome. When things go the opposite of how I strategically planned them out to go, I know deep down inside that it’s happening for a reason that I will appreciate hopefully sooner than later.
Adam: What can anyone do to pay it forward?
Naya: Be kind! Compassion goes a long way, especially in our world. It's also free so there is no excuse for not doing it. We never know what people are going through. Nothing can turn your day around like a compliment or even a hello and good morning from a stranger. If you're reading this right now, I challenge you to pay it forward today by being kind to someone in whatever form of your choosing.
Adam Mendler is the CEO of The Veloz Group, where he co-founded and oversees ventures across a wide variety of industries. Adam is also the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one on one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. Adam has written extensively on leadership, management, entrepreneurship, marketing and sales, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities and non-profit organizations.
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