Put Yourself Into Whatever You’re Creating: Interview with Hollywood Writer R.J. Stewart
I recently went one-on-one with R.J. Stewart. R.J. is known for developing and writing the popular television show Xena: Warrior Princess. R.J. has written for a wide range of movies and television shows over the course of more than two decades, including The Rundown, Major League II, and Remington Steele. R.J. is the author of the new novel Crazy Hawk.
Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. What is something about you that your fans of work don’t know?
RJ: I married Kathleen O’Connor when I was 24 years old and have never for a moment doubted that decision. Her beauty, grace, kindness, courage, and strength have been inspirations for nearly my entire adult life. I can’t imagine my life without her. Together, we’ve suffered almost unbearable tragedies—the deaths of two of our children—but we have come through those experiences as close as two people can be. Every day is an opportunity to be grateful for having her in my life and I think she feels the same about me.
Adam: How did you get here? What experiences, failures, setbacks, or challenges have been most instrumental to your growth?
RJ: My father was a career military guy. United States Air Force. Chief Master Sergeant Kenneth H. Stewart. We never stayed in any one place very long. I lived in New York, South Carolina, Arizona, Washington State, Virginia, California, and the beautiful island of Crete, in Greece. This kind of gypsy-like existence had its challenges. I had no continuity with friends, schools, houses, or neighborhoods. I’m not in contact with a single person I grew up with. But it did force me to turn inside. I was able to develop a very deep and easily accessible imagination. That imagination allowed me to look at every new experience as an adventure as if I were a character in a novel I was writing. I’m sure being the new kid so often toughened me in ways that came in handy when I committed to making a living with the wildly unstable career of a Hollywood screenwriter.
Adam: What is something you have witnessed up close or experienced that would shock fans?
RJ: How stupendously dull movie sets are. Waiting for the lighting and sound people to get it right and then the director changes his mind and they have to start all over. It’s god-awful. Being a writer is great because you can always escape the tedium by claiming you have a deadline to hit.
Adam: In your experience, what are the common qualities among those who have been able to enjoy success in the entertainment industry?
RJ: Fearlessness. To not be afraid of failing is essential for anyone in the entertainment industry. Of course, you never totally lose the fear of failure, but the sooner you learn that you need to function at the highest level possible with that fear hanging over you, the stronger you’ll be.
Ambition. In earlier eras, ambition was celebrated more than it is today, but it’s the primary thing that motivates people to take the next step. You want more fame, money, love, etc. so you work harder and take bigger risks. Don’t fight it. It’s a basic part of human nature.
Passion. I mean for the work. You have to care because it’s just too hard of a journey if you don’t.
Adam: What advice do you have for those either trying to break in or advance?
RJ: Be willing to get feedback from serious players in the business. It might mean that you learn that show business isn’t for you—a scary possibility, but if you have talent, people will respond well or at least give you some hope to go on. But if you never let anyone who might be critical read your script, or watch you act or listen to you sing, then you won’t learn anything about who you are and what you should be doing with your life.
Adam: What is your creative process? How can anyone unlock their creativity?
RJ: My creative process? I stare at the blank page until it shames me into typing something. I’m deadly serious. A writer has to constantly struggle with the horrifying thought that the well may be dry. But what fuels the writing is the marriage of imagination with real-life experience. When I was first starting out, the cliché was “write what you know.” I would agree with that if you accept that your imagination is something you know.
How can anyone unlock their creativity? Putting yourself into whatever you're creating is the place to start. It’s the qualities that make you unique that people are going to be interested in. As I said earlier, marrying your imagination to your real-life experiences is how to get at the good stuff.
Adam: Who are the best leaders you have been around and what have you learned from them? What do you believe makes an effective leader?
RJ: Liz Friedman, Michael Phillips, and Jim Garner were the best leaders I’ve been around. Liz combined an iron will with a remarkable ability to be warm and supportive when the situation called for it. Michael led by creating the most positive creative environment one could ask for. I always felt I could take chances around him. He didn’t always like what I came up with, but he was always open to hearing what I was thinking. Jim led by being the hardest worker, modest, and wildly charismatic.
A good leader has to combine strength, fairness, and the ability to be calm when the bullets are flying by. I think it was Machiavelli who posed the question “Does a leader want to be feared or loved?” I’d say both of those extremes are not to be wished for. I don’t even think it’s healthy for a leader to consider questions like that. The only question that matters is this: Has my leadership maximized the potential of the unit I’m leading? If the answer is yes, then you’re a good leader.
Adam: What are your three best tips applicable to entrepreneurs, executives, and civic leaders?
RJ: These are my three basic rules.
Put yourself at risk. A lot. Playing it safe is a good way to disappear. Sometimes you won’t want to take chances and everybody needs a rest from time to time but if you rest on your laurels too long, you’ll lose your edge. And pretty soon you’ll realize those laurels aren’t that impressive any way.
Meet every opportunity with the most intense work ethic you can muster. You will have regrets in life, everyone does, but one regret you should never have is that you didn’t work hard enough when you had a chance to move your career forward.
Sleep whenever you can.
Adam: You’ve worked with The Rock, Lucy Lawless, Pierce Brosnan, Kevin Costner, Charlie Sheen, and James Garner. What have you learned from your time spent with each of them?
RJ: I met Pierce just as he was becoming a star. I was just starting out then myself and I was fascinated by how much fun he was having. If he felt the pressure, it didn’t show. Lesson learned - smell the flowers, they might get you high. Jim Garner was a study in hard work and professionalism. From Kevin Costner, I learned that intense passion for your work is an inspiring thing to be around. From Lucy, I learned that no matter how busy and famous you are, you can always be authentic and kind. The Rock is one of the most of disciplined human beings I’ve ever experienced. I don’t know if I learned much from that but I was very impressed. From Charlie, I learned that he should have valued getting a good night’s sleep more than he did.
Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received?
RJ: Michael Gleason, creator of Remington Steele, warned me against turning in a script too early. “Turning in a good script a few days late is always better than turning in a flawed script on time.” I think that same logic can be used with making decisions. Making the wrong decision on Monday isn’t nearly as good as making the right decision on Friday no matter how many people yell at you to hurry up and decide. You’ll have more information by Friday that will allow a more complete deliberation.
Adam: Is there anything else you would like to share?
RJ: Having a well-developed interior life is so important to one’s physical, emotional, and psychological health. The French moralist, Chamfort, said it perfectly. “Happiness is difficult to find in oneself and impossible to find anywhere else.” Teresa of Avila called it her Interior Castle. We should all be fortifying our inner being through philosophy or prayer or therapy or meditation or just thinking. It’s the only way to truly withstand the slings and arrows.
Adam Mendler is an entrepreneur, writer, speaker, educator, and nationally recognized authority on leadership. Adam is the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one-on-one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal-winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities, and non-profit organizations. Adam has written extensively on leadership and related topics, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. Adam teaches graduate-level courses on leadership at UCLA and is an advisor to numerous companies and leaders. A Los Angeles native, Adam is a lifelong Angels fan and an avid backgammon player.
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