Thirty Minute Mentors Podcast Transcript: Interview With Rob Lowe

I recently interviewed Rob Lowe on my podcast, Thirty Minute Mentors. Here is a transcript of our interview (note that the transcript is not 100% accurate, as it was captured through an automated transcription service and lightly edited. For the interview in its most accurate form, please listen directly at www.thirtyminutementors.com):

Adam: Our guest today has been a Hollywood icon for more than three decades. In the 1980s. He was a member of the Brat Pack. In the 90s and 2000s. He appeared on many of our favorite TV shows and movies, and starred on one of my favorites as Sam seaborne on the West Wing. Many of our listeners may know him best from his work last decade in parks and rec what listeners may not know Is that Rob Lowe is a two time New York Times bestselling author and an entrepreneur. Rob, thank you for joining us.

Rob: Hey, great to be with you.

Adam: As someone who speaks and writes a lot about leadership, I find the character you play in your newest show 911 Lone Star especially interesting. He's a strong and tough leader but relatable through his vulnerabilities. What do you hope viewers watching the show will learn about leadership by watching your character?

Rob: I think that the more that you can fold in your humanity into your leadership, the stronger you are as a leader, your human frailties when treated the right way can actually enhance your leadership capabilities because it makes it relatable. They take human beings and make sure not just the boss, you know, we all have struggles, some of us mask them better than others. And, you know, bringing those conversations into the workplace can can really help team build,

Adam: In your experience, what are the defining qualities of an effective leader?

Rob: Inspiration, somebody who inspires me. And people overcoming adversity is probably the single biggest source of inspiration. You know, I, whether it's working for a director or a business partner, or a fellow co star, or a book editor, all the people that I've ever worked with, who, you know, I want to get inspired by them. I want to, I want to own their leadership. I like to walk into a situation and be able to scan the room and go, Oh, there's the leader, the way you carry yourself. It's a charisma thing. It's a confidence thing. It doesn't have to be noisy. In fact, some of the most successful men that I know, who are worth the most amount of money are the most humble, unassuming guys in the world, but they have that aura and that energy of confidence, and that's what you want to do. You want to be working with someone? Do you trust them to lead you out of the foxhole into battle?

Adam: In your view has effective leadership in Hollywood and in general, changed over the years? And what are your thoughts on the topic?

Rob: I mean, I continue to be inspired by the same things that always inspired me point of view, there's a big thing. You know, I think that decision by committee is not part of leadership. It certainly is creatively. And if somebody has a strong point of view, that gives me confidence. If I get the sense that somebody doesn't have a strong point of view. It makes me nervous and it's kind of like seasickness on a boat. When one person gets it, it easily infected everybody else. Sure. So, you know that and that's the same for me, you know, by effectively started acting at the highest levels in 1979. And it remains true today. You know, people want to feel safe. They want to feel like they're with somebody who knows what they're doing. And I've worked with first time directors who have no experience, but they know what they're doing and you feel really, really comfortable. I've worked with directors with tons of experience, and I get the sense that they're a little wobbly, and you don't feel safe. People need to feel protected and safe to do their best work.

Adam: What have been your favorite roles over the years and why?

Rob: Oh, wow. I mean, I mean, one of the good things about being around and hanging around as long as I have is, you know, you get to have a bunch of different roles that you love and relate to I mean, you know, it's certainly Sam Seaborn in the West Wing. It's Chris Traeger in Parks and Recreation. It's like crazy. Your face lift character and Steven Soderbergh Behind the Candelabra. You know, I mean, it's kind of never I love this new character. Ryan Murphy created the show. Ryan Murphy is created every piece of interesting television you know, decade whether it's Nip Tuck, Glee, American Horror Story, right? He has a way of making things really original and fresh. And you know, the firefighting genre has been around forever, there's not much fresh about it. People love it historically. And that's great. To take something that has historically been great if people love and make it interesting and new and fresh, is a real trick. And Ryan's done it with those characters. Very unexpected, fun to play.

Adam: Can you describe your daily routine when you're preparing for a role? And what about when you're shooting and when you're in between projects?

Rob: When I'm looking at a script to do it, you know, I, the first thing I think about is, you know, the part what I'm actually going to be doing, you know, is there a part that I feel like I can score in is is part that's going to be memorable. You know, I mentioned Behind the Candelabra a minute ago, I have four scenes in it. stars Michael Douglas, Matt Damon. Those four scenes I did have more impact than starring in 100 scenes and then other movies. So it's not It truly is not the device part. And then it's who you're going to be working with who your teammates are. Then the actual sort of craft very much depends on the part, you know, on 911 Lone Star, I'd had a lot of interaction with first responders with all of the disasters that fell Southern California, the fires and the floods all happened in my neighborhood, we had seven different companies camping in my yard, I was cooking for them. And you'll get to know the men and women really well. So I already understood what makes them tick. And that's half the battle is you got to know what makes your character tick, what they would do and say in any given situation, not just once written. And, you know, then you go on the set and you try to be free and you try to be loose. And you try to be full with your technique, knowing your lines and knowing where the camera is, but then you want to also be kind of empty so inspiration can fill you up.

Adam: Can you talk about your early days in the business, your time working with your friends from high school and what that experience was like?

Rob: Well, I kind of think that there are times in places where I don't know if it's the site Geist or something in the water. But you know, whether it's you know, Laurel Canyon in 1968. You've got, you know, the birds and Crosby, Stills, Nash and Neil Young and Joni Mitchell and, you know, they're all kind of they're doing their thing or whether it's Malibu, Santa Monica in the mid 70s. We had me and Charlie Sheen and Emilio stevis Sean Penn and Chris Penn and Robert Downey Jr. Yeah, we were just all kind of you know, in that place and wanting to do the same thing some of us earlier you know, than others you know, I arrived there wanting to be an actor when I moved from Ohio. You know, we'd make backyard movies together. I do a one man show based on inspired by that book. And in it I show one of those crazy eighth grade super eight millimeter movies that we made in Charlie Sheen's Martin Sheen's backyard and it's people get a lot of laughs. That's really fun, but for the earliest time I can remember, I always wanted to be an actor. And it just so happens that a lot of my friends felt the same way. And we've all kind of managed to carve out careers.

Adam: Like most people, you've been through a lot of highs and lows. But because you're a public figure, your highs seem a lot higher and your lows seem a lot lower. 

Rob: Exactly. I like that. 

Adam: Can you share with listeners how you were able to overcome your toughest setbacks? I think that it's a topic that no matter who I'm interviewing, and no matter who's listening, this is the area that I think is as relatable as any and I would really love as candid insights as you can provide.

Rob: Yeah. Oh, for sure. I mean, by the way, I'm no different than anybody else. I like for example, I'm a huge Bruce Springsteen fan, and I feel like I know everything about Bruce. He's inspired me as in his concerts forever. I know him a little bit. Yeah, his daughter went to school with my son at Duke. And then I went and saw his one man show where he read his book, we talked very candidly about his depression, and overcoming his depression. And I thought, I didn't think I could be inspired anymore by Bruce and I already have been, and yet, now I am. And so I get it. I anytime I looked at somebody was a fan of and they're honest and comfortable in their own skin enough to peel back the curtain and show their humanity and their vulnerability. It's inspiring. And you know, for me, I was a product of two divorces. I used to think they weren't that big a deal, but everybody gets divorced. And then I had kids and looked at them and thought, holy shit, can you imagine if I walked out of the house? So there's that. And, you know, then there was this weird thing where I really wanted to do what I wanted to do really early on and that was not really accepted. Before I came out here as an eight year old growing up in Ohio wanting to be an actor was not looked at well, and people want to beat me up over it and fight and all that. And then you come out here and then you get famous early, and that's great. And then you get money. And that's great. But nobody's ever told you how to use it, what to do with it. You don't even know how it happened. You're wondering if it's going to continue to happen. And it's all very confusing, and there's no no one to teach you or help you and you're making it up as you go along. And, and then it's at an age where everybody, no matter what they're going through, is trying to figure out what their relationship is with alcohol or drugs. And that's a very natural part of being 1617 1819 2021. And, you know, I found a ton of solace in that I loved the way I felt when I was getting loaded, loved it, as a lot of people do. And, you know, it's sort of like that story of like, a frog is boiled to death incrementally. And, you know, you're sure if you turn up the water slowly, it never even knows it's in trouble. My story with with you know, drugs and alcohol is like I never had a, you know, I never ran anybody over a car and never missed were none of that stuff but incrementally It was really, really affecting me and by the grace of God, when I was 26 I made the decision to get into recovery. And for my son was over what my life was, oh, you had to do it Didn't you know? I thought okay, I'm old now. 26 year old man now, and it's gonna be boring and there's going to be no more fun, but I kind of got to do it. And, you know, that's, that's what it was. And I was really lucky to own it. Love. I ended up loving, sobriety, loving, being sober, and you know, I will have 30 years sober and May, God willing.

Adam: Congratulations.

Rob: Thanks. So for me it was and then that put me on a journey of self analysis because once you have more... that Pandora's box. There's more in it. And it you know, I thought for me is alcoholism, you know whether people whether it's you know gambling, food, sex, money, the ISM the addict mentality behavior it's all it filters through all of those things and you kind of get your handle on one of them and then it's like whack a mole pops up somewhere else. Here's the bad news. The work never ends. But the good news is it's unbelievably satisfying. And you can't argue with the results. You know, today my life is happiest it's ever been. The work is better than it's ever been. have managed to stay married to the same woman for 29 years. I have two grown sons who are amazing a man that I'm beyond blessed but I know that I don't have any of it without that first step of the long journey of recovery. 

Adam: Can you talk a little bit more about the work that you've put in and the work that you advise listeners to put in regardless of the challenge that they're trying to overcome in their life, it could be addiction, it could be getting fired from a job, it could be going through a breakup, it could be disappointing news, you know, not getting the promotion that they wanted, or not advancing as fast as they thought they would in their career. What do you do to overcome that setback? And in your personal case, you've been surrounded with some tremendous people. How do you build that support system and who are the kinds of people that can really help you overcome challenges and get to the top?

Rob: We can do a seven part series on this. The thing that struck me, though, as you were talking as I can remember when I first got sober thinking, Oh, great, now I'm going to get those movie roles that have escaped me like Now, I'm getting my own house in order. And now I'm going to get that Martin Scorsese movie. Like that was the ultimate, like, thing. Well, it's almost 30 years later. I never got the Martin Scorsese movie, but that's what I want. But what God the universe, however you want to look at it. That plan was way better than my stupid little human petty plan. The universe's plan for me was beautiful kids, beautiful wife, long successful career, great health, financial stability. It was way beyond my wildest dreams. I literally was unable to comprehend it. I wanted to go see a movie. So what I like to tell people is, you know, again, however you want to say universe, God, whatever it is, wants you to be happy, joyous and free. That's the plan. That's, that's the plan. It's out there. Really only you can fuck that. So the minute you stop fucking all that stuff up, you know, those things are gonna happen and may not be what you want. In my case, it turns out was better. So, but again, none of it happens unless you're willing to do the work you need to do. And you know, the number one thing is self honesty is like, you got to be able to take a long, hard look in the mirror and figure out what your part of it is. It's not that you got fired, it's not the world against you, or the system is rigged or any of those if you're thinking like that is done, you do, might as well not if you're done. It's what is in your heart. And, you know, you can't have secrets. You can't like, you know, cuz I'll tell this person that but I'm not going to tell him it's like you need to be an open book with at least somebody. And once you can live your authentic life and be who you truly are, then that opens faucet for all of those things that yes, powers big God spirituality, the universe, whatever however you want to look at it, that that that call now flow through the faucet can't do it when you're gumming up the works.

Adam: What were moments of self doubt you had in your career and how were you able to overcome them?

Rob: Well, every actor thinks they're never gonna work again. I read a great interview with Henry Fonda. He was convinced to the end, he would that every movie he did was his last. By the way, anything we all do might be our last. And now we could, you know, pull out in front of a semi tomorrow. So not really wrong. But, you know, the, the biggest impediment I think, for people is fear. People are more and more fear based. You see in corporate, even in corporations, everything is made out of fear, or it you know, it's fear is the poison of every well. And the only escape from it is to have some sort of spirituality, some sort and it can be whatever you want it to be. It doesn't have to be religion, but you have to believe there's something greater than you running the show. My experience tells me that there is and once you once you can find a relationship with that and accept that, then you begin to be able to get a handle of fear. Because really, that's the only way because nothing is guaranteed does nothing. So the notion that you may go broke, you may get cancer, your wife may lead, by the way that can happen to any of us at any time. So what are we gonna do about it? The answer is nothing. Can't do anything about it. By definition what we can do is establish a relationship spiritually, that gives us the knowledge and the comfort that all things being equal, the universe wants you to succeed, be happy, healthy, well wise, and successful.

Adam: What are the biggest misconceptions people have about life as a Hollywood star?

Rob: Just on a really practical, stupid micro level people we pull have no idea how long it takes to make something and how the drudgery that is inherent in it and the horrendous hours. And look, it's great. I think it's one of the greatest jobs in the world but you know, I leave my house at 5:30 in the morning and you know, I come home, sometimes at eight or nine at night, and I do that five days a week from July to the end of April, making network television series. You know, my friends were in straight business, you know, their home and five and watching football and I'm, you know, covered in ash or third story Dobby, you know, I mean, so there's that. And, you know, and I think that you know that there are some there are plenty of kooks and crazy people in my business. 100% there are, but you know, it's a business and an art both. And there are true artists trying to make great things. And there are people minding the store and trying to run a responsible industry. And there are some, you know, there are adults out here, some of them and, you know, really, it's really no different than any business in that capacity.

Adam: What's the biggest risk you've ever taken in your career?

Rob: I like to pride myself on being a risk taker, and I've done it many times, you know, a perfect recent example was when they asked me to be roasted on Comedy Central. And I was you're gonna get the crap beaten out of you. They're gonna bring up every scandal, every nightmare that you wanted to forget it's 100 years old and do it in front of your family and the world. And like my wife, Cheryl was saying, you can't do it. You're gonna look like a fool in front of the world. I said, Honey, that ship sailed. But I know again, it's showing like, I don't care. I am who I am. This is who I am. Love it, leave it whatever. This is me warts and all. And it's gonna be I know it's gonna be how larious it was. And you know, I love a good roast. Boy, I can take it. I think it's hilarious and you know, there's nothing better than seeing, you know, I remember watching John Kennedy's press conferences, and the press would roast him… it was a totally different time in our culture, obviously, he would roll them back and I thought, he's a stud. Look at him, good for him. And so I've always admired that. So I was happy to do it. But, you know, there are people that won't do it. I mean, I asked Gwyneth Paltrow to be on my dais and she was like, sure, honey, I'll do it. Once. Have you seen one of these roasts, though, you should look at them. She called me back and said not only why not be on the desk, I don't think you should do it at all. I mean, you know, I mean, it's a small thing, this roast but I think it's emblematic of what you're talking about, about not having fear taking the risk. And that happens all the time in this business actors fade out. For the same reasons over and over. People say why wouldn't you do a long career and you know, actors who don't make it either, first of all, not good to begin with and they get finally found out that happens all the time. Or Get fearful and get tight. And they overthink. And they let weeds in the bad choices, or it's drugs, alcohol. Those are the reasons there are no other reasons.

Adam: How do you decide what brand deals to take? And what are some of the best marketing tips that you've learned from your career as a pitch, man?

Rob: Well, the first big one I ever did was for DIRECTV. And those commercials were amazing. I was very involved in the creative. They're among the most successful commercials in the last decade, not only for moving the needle for DIRECTV, and I think there's some scripts subscribership was up, I think 30% during that reign, but creatively they were hilarious. I got more feedback, positive feedback from that, and I mean it from anything I've ever done.

Adam: They were great commercials. No argument here. I love them.

Rob: They were so fun. But that's me going okay. It's a commercial on pitcher again, but that doesn't mean it has to Not Be good commercials. Great. Some of the mean when you see a great commercial don't just love it. Absolute reason for commercials. Because there's no reason for commercials to be bad. That's just laziness. Or, you know, you know, bad thinking on people's part. So I was very involved in that. And it worked really well. You know, I'm currently working with Atkins, that's a different animal when I'm trying to be funny, when I trended about a year of design guys, but we are trying to do is help people with their lives and you know, it's a natural fit for me. I've been living Atkins for, you know, 20 years on the hill before they paid me. You know, the low carb lifestyle. And what's really satisfying is you know, when I was doing DIRECTV, people come up to me and go, I love your commercials are hilarious. That was great. Now though, you know, people come up to me and go, Hey, man, I've lost I've lost 55 pounds in that low carb lifestyle. And, and that's, that's great. I think he is for When you're picking who to be in business with is, you know, is it authentic to who you are is a fit and is the messaging you know going to seem you know either funny or entertaining or just you know really authentic you know I you mentioned in the intro my entrepreneurial stuff and you know for years then have come up to me and women to go would you have a secret like like you look just like you didn't see normal spire was 30 years ago what's going on and and that led me to create my own skincare line because I've been diligent about taking care of myself diligent about taking care of my skin men don't. And they don't know how to think it's me or it's overwhelming when they go to Chios and then they go, there's 75,000 different things to buy, and they're like, I forget it. I got that. I understood it. So you know, that's why I created cobalt, and it's doing really, really well. But it's helping guys who want to better themselves don't necessarily know how to do it. And yeah, sell it online. And it's again, it's a good fit. It's like, Oh, that makes sense, right? I should do that. I have the ability to reach people. It's something people come to me and asked me about Anyway, why not try and give them an answer?

Adam: Rob, you preempted my next question, which I'm just going to read what I wrote down. What are some of the best lessons you've learned since starting your business? And can listeners freeze the aging process the way that you and Paul Rudd have by using your products?

Rob: Well, you know, I'm, I'm blessed with good genetics. My dad, you know, is 80 and looks like he's 60. So there is that, but everybody can be a better iteration of themselves. And I've been taking care of my skin for 30 years, and now you're seeing the results. By the way, I didn't do it cuz I wanted to do it. I did it because I said make charity somebody's job to do it for me. But what I learned was, everybody should be doing this. And guys don't do it. So cobalt is for them. It's really affordable. But the other thing I learned is the first iteration of my company was called profile. And it was it was sold in Nordstrom. And it was a very high end and it's, it's great, it's still wonderful. But I also realized I needed to reach out to the more average regular guys who might not have access to Nordstrom or aren't going to shop in a Nordstrom and that's really what cobalt is. So you learn you have to again you have to adjust. I think all good business people are flexible and can adjust to the markets and adjust to what people are responding to versus not responding to. And, for me, that's been the biggest positive of going into this world and also just having kids go, dude, I love your underwriter and anti aging rollers.

Adam: Rob, what are the chances of a West Wing reboot? And what would it even look like given the way the political climate has changed since the show?

Rob: Well, I have the dubious distinction of being in two of the most requested shows ever to be with the West Wing. And Parks and Recreation. Sure. And both shows are completely the brainchild of one single human being. Make sure Parks and Recreation and Aaron Sorkin the last one, and there is no anything without them. And both those dudes have not for the life of them. Been able to figure out how and what a reboot would look like. We're everybody's very aware that the audience demands it. It would be awesome. We would all be unsure when to do it. But unfortunately the two guys that it follows to figure it out, so far haven't figured out a way in. You know, I selfishly always like to take your Sorkin and his word and remember the great episode when Bartlet came to Sam and said “You can be the president one day, you can do it. Don't be scared.” Now for me, that'd be a fun way to start.

Adam: That would be great. On a side note, I actually ran into Martin Sheen during the 2016 election in a parking lot right after lunch in Beverly Hills. And I was encouraging him to run for president and he didn't so I guess our listeners can make their own judgment as to whether we're better off with him as president or not. But what are your thoughts on that?

Rob: There's nobody I love more than Martin or Bartlett. And they're kind of one of the same. I mean, and I really miss it. One year. We all got golf carts to run around a lot on and Martin would play Hail to the Chief. It's part of his golf cart whenever you pulled up which always made me laugh. So I know the first thing Martin would do as president, he would reinstate them playing Hail to the Chief.

Adam: Maybe you can convince him to run this cycle.

Rob: Yeah, I'll do my best.

Adam: What can anyone do to develop a winning mindset?

Rob: Your question tells you ever need to know what winning is a mindset is, I'm naturally optimistic. I'm a real glass is half full guy. Just them. I'm positive. I'm energetic. I mean, my character Chris Traeger was not too far off the mark and Tim seaborne thing. optimistic go getter positive, never say die. Walk through a wall. That's me. I've been that way since I was eight years old. You don't get from, you know, Dayton, Ohio, to where I am today without that, driving you. And, you know, I've never looked at the odds against me. I think that this culture of victimhood is doing people The services that they can't even imagine, you know, we live in the greatest country in the world, there is so much opportunity for everybody. The you know, the people that are spewing this narrative that things are difficult and the system is rigged. They're, they're 10 out of 10 people for every version, I can tell you, it can show you that I've overcome all kinds of adversity, to go to great places. I even argue that coming from adversity today is the greatest calling card you can have. And but it's all it's all in your head, man. It's all in your head on how you would look at it.

Adam: What is your definition of success?

Rob: To me it's health, happy family and having a job that supports my life. That gives me satisfaction and excitement.

Adam: Rob, thank you for joining us.

Rob: It was great. It really was really fun. Thank you so much. 

Adam: My pleasure. Thanks again for being on the show.