I recently spoke to Ryan Jenkins and Steven Van Cohen. Ryan and Steven are the founders of LessLonely.com, where they are focused on addressing workplace loneliness and creating more belonging at work, and the authors of Connectable: How Leaders Can Move Teams From Isolated to All In.

Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. How did you get here? What experiences, failures, setbacks or challenges have been most instrumental to your growth?

Ryan: For over a decade, I have been a keynote speaker and author helping organizations create engaged, inclusive, and high-performing teams by lessening worker loneliness and closing generational gaps. 

The recent global pandemic presented one of the greatest setbacks of my life. As a keynote speaker and trainer who was heavily reliant on people gathering together, it was a swift blow to my business and identity. But it was amid the setback that led me to the work I am most passionate about today. 

In early 2019, I discovered research that highlighted that 73% of Gen Z workers reported sometimes or always feeling alone. Surprised and saddened by that number, Steven and I began exploring what was causing this loneliness. As we began our research, it became clear that it wasn’t just Gen Z who were experiencing loneliness, but everyone was.

Considering there weren't any resources to help organizations lessen worker loneliness, we decided to create it. Loneliness isn’t shameful, it’s a signal. A signal we belong together. And we believed the best place to tackle the loneliness epidemic was at the place we convene the most, work. And leaders were best positioned to cultivate more belonging among their teams.

Amid the COVID-19 pandemic, we began sharing our loneliness research with clients and were astonished by how large the appetite was for this topic. The pandemic had finally pulled back the curtain on the concealed topic of loneliness. Two years, one book, two frameworks, an app, and a team connection assessment later we are thrilled to see how accessible this topic has become for organizations big and small all over the world.

Today, Steven and I founded LessLonely.com, the world’s first resource fully dedicated to reducing worker isolation and strengthening team connections. 

Steven: For over a decade I have been a leadership consultant, executive coach and global speaker. I have helped companies like Home Depot, Salesforce, Blackstone, Bridgestone and Komatsu lessen worker loneliness and create cultures of belonging. 

Adam: What do you hope readers take always from your new book?

Steven: Loneliness is NOT the absence of people but the absence of connection.

Someone can be in a crowded office and still experience loneliness. Conversely, a solo remote worker can be fully engaged in their work and not feel lonely. When a team member is disconnected from themselves, their team, the culture, or the work itself…loneliness ensues. In order to reduce loneliness, workers need to feel connected to the work or organization, their team, and their manager.

Loneliness is impacting your team.

According to our research, 72% of global workers said they experience loneliness monthly, with 55% saying weekly. 94% of leaders say that their teams are growing lonelier while working remotely. It's not a matter of if your team is experiencing loneliness but how many are experiencing the negative impacts of loneliness. Our research also shows that loneliness shows up across all levels within an organization. It is not just lonely at the top… it’s lonely in the middle and the bottom.

Loneliness is hindering worker performance.

Lonely workers are 7x less likely to be engaged at work, 5x more likely to miss work due to stress or illness, and twice as often to think about leaving their employer. Loneliness is an unaddressed productivity killer that is incapacitating many teams. Loneliness lies at the intersection of inclusion and well-being so decreasing workplace loneliness boosts workers’ health, engagement, performance, and loyalty.

Loneliness isn’t shameful; it’s a signal.

The same complex homeostatic system in our brains that drives us to eat and drink is similar to what drives us to connect and converse. Just like hunger informs us it’s time to eat, feeling lonely is our biological cue to seek connection. It's a signal that we belong together. It’s a universal human condition. And one of the most fertile places to foster more connection and belonging…is at the place we spend most of our waking hours…work.

Loneliness can be easily reduced when you know what to do.

Loneliness is increasing. But that means it's malleable. What increases can also decrease. Research proves that simple pro-social behaviors can reduce loneliness. Befriending just one person at work, a positive 40-second interaction, or spending five minutes before a virtual meeting to share something personal are just a few examples of how swiftly loneliness can be lessened. Loneliness is being seen through, belonging is being seen as. Creating environments where people feel seen and heard is the nemesis of loneliness.

Adam: What do you believe are the keys to building a winning organizational culture?

Ryan: The healthiest organizations have found a way to have concurrent commitments to human dignity and performance. They don’t sacrifice the well-being of employees for high performance. They also don’t sacrifice performance to bend to every need of their employees. They strike a balance. When organizations work to reduce loneliness and boost, they improve employee well-being and organizational excellence.

Adam: What do you believe are the keys to building a winning organizational culture in a remote setting? What are tangible steps leaders can take?

Ryan: One of the most pressing keys that organizations have to get right moving forward is fostering a greater sense of belonging. Here are the benefits organizations reap when a strong sense of belonging exists:

• Boosted recruitment: When employees feel like they belong, they are 167 percent more likely to recommend their organization as a great place to work.

• Boosted performance: Teams with a strong sense of belonging see a 56 percent increase in job performance.

• Boosted engagement: Workplace belonging leads to a 75 percent decrease in employee sick days and a 50 percent reduction in turnover risk. Additionally, employees with a best friend at work expend more effort in their job. For example, women who strongly agree that they have a best friend at work are more than twice as likely to be engaged (63 percent) compared with the women who say otherwise (29 percent).

• Boosted collaboration: Excluded individuals are less willing to work on behalf of the team that excluded them. In fact, a single incidence of “micro-exclusion” can lead to an immediate 25 percent decline in an individual’s performance on a team project.

Belonging pays big dividends. The evidence makes clear that belonging must move from a “nice-to-have” buzzword to a business priority. Since work is a profound place for people to create belonging, leaders have an unparalleled opportunity to provide people with a greater sense of acceptance, support, and inclusion that leaves the business boosted.

Adam: What is your best advice on building, leading and managing teams?

Steven: Leaders should point their people to a better future. But identifying “better” is difficult because it’s subjective and “better” can be quickly outdone in today’s fast-moving marketplace.

Every industry has shared assumptions that fuel the prevailing model of how things have always been done. Today a “this is how we’ve always done it” mindset is a slippery slope to irrelevance. Right now, somewhere in the world, someone is messing with the rules of your industry’s prevailing model. Someone is pioneering new approaches under the safe canopy of anonymity, getting ready to strike with an improved product or service and completely interrupt your world.

Mobile technology and ubiquitous connectivity have enabled accelerated disruption. The 33-year average tenure of companies on the S&P 500 in 1965 narrowed to 20 years in 1990 and is forecast to shrink to 14 years by 2026. At the current churn rate, about half of today’s S&P 500 firms will be replaced over the next 10 years. Now more than ever, the prevailing model causes leaders to get complacent, industries to get stuck, and companies to go under.

The benefits of interruptibility extend beyond lessening loneliness and boosting belonging among a team. Interruptibility allows leaders to find the necessary innovation to stay relevant in today’s high-flux marketplace.

According to Al Ries, author of Focus: The Future of Your Company Depends on It, “The next generation product [idea or solution] almost never comes from the previous generations.” Fresh eyes often bring the best ideas. Our natural human tendency is to deny our ignorance and focus on the familiar and comprehensible things we can control. But effective leaders face their ignorance in order to discover the uniquely better solutions that will keep their company unstuck.

An effective way to face your ignorance and discover uniquely better solutions is by listening to outsiders. Listen to those outside of your organization, industry, and generation. Outsiders aren’t bound by the same assumptions and prevailing models that are likely to hold your organization or industry back.

You know what’s full of outsider-ness? Interruptions. Interruptions are literally something unexpected from the outside that disrupts your current reality. A new hire dropping by your office with a novel idea to impact the business is the type of unexpected interruption that reveals to a leader the prevailing model that can be holding back the team or organization.

Interruptions from uniformity, work routines, and thinking patterns can bring the much-needed perspective to stay cutting-edge in today’s fast-evolving marketplace. And that same interruption can provide enough of a break from the interrupted task that you revisit the task with refreshed eyes. Research proves the benefits of stepping away from a project or task to then reengage later with greater focus, energy, and perspective.

Interruptions are a free ticket to a renewed perspective, an uncovered blind spot, and possibly a better future. So, the next time you are interrupted in the middle of a task, a routine, or a thought—smile and know this could lead you to your next big breakthrough. 

Ryan: Leaders need to listen to unlock. Too often leaders listen to win, or listen to fix, rarely do they listen to understand. When leaders take more time to really understand their people, they not only generate incredible ideas, but they make the team feel fully seen. 

Adam: What do you believe are the defining qualities of an effective leader? How can leaders and aspiring leaders take their leadership skills to the next level?

Steven: “Lessen loneliness” is likely not written in your job description. But if it’s not your responsibility as the leader, who will help the individuals on your team? As the health and economic costs of loneliness become more discussed and visible, the government and healthcare system will play an important role in treating or alleviating the problem. But those resources pale in comparison to the opportunity you have as a leader. Someone who is in close, consistent contact with workers and casting a vision, speaking into their lives, and providing an environment where they can be the best version of themselves is in a position to change lives for the better. Your actions have the power to drive positive societal change, impact families, and set the example of the important role organizations play in lessening loneliness.

Fostering healthy social connections is important if organizations are going to function effectively. And the same is true for societies and families. As social connections grow more and more unhealthy, leaders have an opportunity to turn the tide and provide workers with the example and tools to make an impact at work, in their families, and throughout society. For our health, our work, and our future, it’s critical that leaders address loneliness at work.

Adam: What are your three best tips applicable to entrepreneurs, executives and civic leaders?

Ryan: Our top tip is…Have a people-first culture. The greatest asset of any company is the people. One way to be people-first moving forward is to create work environments where people can derive a sense of belonging. The continued advancement of mobile technology, artificial intelligence, blockchain, and augmented and virtual reality will cause humanity to drift towards convenience and away from human connection. It will be increasingly important for employers to fight for the opportunities to bring people together to experience a sense of belonging. 

Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received?

Ryan: It’s said that authors write the books they themselves need to read. While writing the book, the insight that I needed most to hear was: Connections don’t have to be lasting to be meaningful. As an introvert and a highly ambitious person, I often didn’t make the effort to connect with people I knew weren’t going to be involved in my life. Someone in the elevator, a local barista, or an Uber driver. Now that I am aware of how critical social connections are to my well-being. How many people are craving more connection? And that it only takes 40 seconds during a two-person interaction to lessen loneliness. I now make connecting with others, no matter how fleeting, a priority every day. I have personally experienced an elevated well-being and seen it in those in which I interact with. 

Steven: Be mindful of the butterfly effect. My mom instilled the belief that everything you do matters. Every person you meet, every action you take, every word you say has the opportunity to help or hurt the people around you. I take this notion very seriously and do my best to flap my butterfly wings in a positive direction. The little things make a big difference and when we are mindful of the little things we do, we can begin compounding them into significant impact.


Adam Mendler is the CEO of The Veloz Group, where he co-founded and oversees ventures across a wide variety of industries. Adam is also the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one on one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. Adam has written extensively on leadership, management, entrepreneurship, marketing and sales, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities and non-profit organizations.

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