Share Passions Before Product: Interview with Scott Simon, Founder of Scare Your Soul
I recently went one on one with Scott Simon. Scott is the founder of Scare Your Soul, organically growing it from one Facebook post to a global courage movement with sixty volunteer ambassadors worldwide, and the author of the new book Scare Your Soul: 7 Powerful Principles to Harness Fear and Lead Your Most Courageous Life.
Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. How did you get here? What experiences, failures, setbacks, or challenges have been most instrumental to your growth?
Scott: Thank you, Adam! I love your work, and it’s an honor to go deep into the world of courageous action with you.
So, I am going to take you back in time.
I invite you to picture an elementary school choir prepping for a holiday concert. A cold Ohio wind is blowing snow against the windows of the gym. There are three rows of kids standing on risers. There is one kid - in the front row - who is the shortest. He’s got wire-rimmed glasses and a blue cardigan sweater that his mom picked out for him. The one who loves to sing at home with his grandparents.
Even though he is surrounded by kids, he looks alone. Almost invisible.
That kid was me.
I was the kid picked last. The one who stammered in class. The one who was bullied and tossed into the bushes at recess.
And that day in fourth grade, as the wind blew hard, something happened that changed me.
During the preparation for the concert, our choir teacher gave me a single solo line to sing. Each time, when it came for my turn, I froze up. I just couldn’t get it right. Our substitute choir teacher, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt festooned with palm trees, lost his cool. He ran towards me, face red. He said: “You! You can’t sing. Just mouth the words from now on!”
That moment changed me.
Embarrassed and immobilized in front of the grade, I closed down.
I did not sing in public again. For 35 years.
Until one day when I decided to tackle my fear of singing in public head-on.
Inspired by my studies with Harvard Positive Psychology Professor Tal Ben Shahar, and knowing that positive action in the face of fear moves the needle from apathy and anxiety to freedom and joy, I made the choice to grab my acoustic guitar and sing in front of a busy restaurant on a crisp Sunday morning.
The brunch aficionados were lined up in front, ready for their Belgian waffles and scrambled eggs. I nervously pulled out my guitar and began to sing. The brunch-goers, annoyed at first, began to smile. Then, they started clapping. It felt amazing. When I was finished, the feeling I had afterwards was incredible: power, freedom, joy, accomplishment, and confidence.
I wrote a single Facebook post about that experience, which went viral. It was shared around the world. That was the launching of the Scare Your Soul movement: people from all walks of life who commit to pushing our comfort zones, confronting our demons, tackling our fears. And doing it together as a community. It isn't governed by background, or socioeconomic status, or gender, or race.
It is uniquely human. It is powerful.
It leads to an ignited life.
It all began with that kid who wanted to be invisible. Now, I get to speak through my actions and walk arm-in-arm with others doing it along with me.
Adam: What do you hope readers take away from your new book?
Scott: I want my reader to be inspired to know that they can change, and it just takes small (even micro) acts every day to create that change.
If they embrace the Scare Your Soul call to action - “do one thing every day that scares you” - they can overcome feeling fearful, stuck, unsure, and lost. They can lead a more joyful, adventurous, meaningful, and connected life.
Adam: What steps can anyone take to push past their comfort zone?
Scott: I suggest starting with three steps (I dive deeply into them in Chapter 3 of the Scare Your Soul book):
1. Get familiar with your most deeply-held values.
2. Get to know what really excites you.
3. Get to know which of your self-created fears are holding you back.
Now we can operate from a place of self-knowledge ... and all of the deep courage - work actually becomes insanely exciting.
Then, commit to one thing every day that pushes your comfort zone. Just one thing.
For some, just getting out of bed is a courageous act!
So is taking a 10-second cold shower. Buying a cup of coffee for someone you don't know. Initiating an uncomfortable conversation. Speaking up about a crazy, new idea or in support of someone who is challenging the status quo. Forgiving someone. Asking an intimidating boss or coworker to lunch. Trying an exercise for the first time. Going for a walk in nature when you're used to being at home.
Keep it small, keep it actionable.
And keep doing it.
Adam: How can anyone develop a winning mindset?
Scott: A winning mindset isn’t about adding. It is about subtracting.
Let me explain:
Think of walking through a museum. You find yourself in a long corridor with paintings on each wall. When you reach the end of the hallway, it opens us into a wide, well-lit room with an amazing sculpture right at its center. It is majestic. It is genius. You think about how the sculptor could have possibly taken a huge block of stone and created this.
Now, think about this: before the sculptor began, the work of art was already inside.
Fully formed.
Ready to be revealed, chip by chip.
I believe that our courageous selves - our best selves - are just like that sculpture.
Our destined greatness is already there, fully-formed, and our job in life is not to add to it. But to subtract. Our job is to remove all of the excess stone - our fears and our comfort zones - so we can reveal the best life.
I believe with all my heart that small courageous acts are just like the sculptor chipping away at his or her masterpiece. With every brave act, we remove what is holding us back, and allow the true, beautiful, confident, audacious, energized part of us to emerge.
Adam: What do you believe are the defining qualities of an effective leader?
Scott: We all know that good leadership requires courage. But I believe that great leadership rests on a foundation of humility.
(Yes, I said humility.)
Humble leaders are great listeners. They are brave enough to admit that they don’t know it all, and are open to the perspectives and guidance of others. They inspire others through a vision that is embracing of new ideas and innovations from everyone around them.
And they are great listeners.
I recently had a two-hour phone conversation with a gentleman who is a billionaire many times over. He led a Fortune 500 company, flies around the world in his own jet, and has written five books.
In our conversation, however, he spoke 5% of the time and listened 95%. When the time came to impart wisdom and advice, he had all the information he needed. He was incisive. He gave me direct feedback and ideas based on deep listening.
He didn’t need to show off what he had accomplished or what he knew. He was humble. He was curious. He was direct.
That is great leadership.
Adam: How can leaders and aspiring leaders take their leadership skills to the next level?
Scott: Find your allies. Find your people.
No great leader - no matter what the field - does it alone.
In the book, I talk a lot about “Choirs” and “Catalysts.”
Our Choirs are made up of our ride-or-dies. The people who will love and support us unconditionally. They are there for us during the most challenging moments.
Our Catalysts, on the other hand, are those who challenge us. Push us to be our best. Won’t shrink from giving us the hard truth.
So, I believe that getting in touch with our Choirs and Catalysts, actively feeding those relationships, and allowing them to play their roles - supporter and change-agent - leads to a winning mindset.
Adam: What are your three best tips applicable to entrepreneurs, executives, and civic leaders?
Scott:
Share passions before product. Share your own story. What excites you? What path led you to be where you are today? Why do you choose to do what you do? People follow people, not their resumes, their accomplishments of their MVP’s. So let people get to you the real you. Tell your story.
As Steven Covey said, “first seek to understand, and then be understood.” Put your ego off to the side, and listen. Only when you feel like others are heard, and you actively listened to their needs and perspectives, do you provide the full weight of your leadership.
Remember that you will die one day. You don’t know when. But it will happen. So, be bold. Take risks. Push through your comfort zones and enter the space of discomfort and unknown like an adventurer in the jungle.
Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received?
Scott: A dear friend, mentor, and mindfulness teacher told me this story, which is commonly ascribed to the Native American tradition:
An elder, talking to a child says: “I have two wolves fighting in my heart.”
“One wolf is fearful, vengeful, envious.
The other wolf is compassionate, loving, truthful.”
The child asked, “Which one will win the fight?”
The elder responded, “The one I feed.”
When I feel lost, confused, or unsure about how to act or which path to take in life, I ask myself the question: “What am I feeding?”
Am I feeding anger, jealousy, anxiety?
Or am I feeding openness, love, and selfless courage?
And then, I take action.
Adam: Is there anything else you would like to share?
Scott: Yes! There are two great ways to amp up your courage and begin leading your most audacious life.
First, Scare Your Soul is open to all, is always free, and will challenge you in deep, fun, and intriguing ways. You can sign up - again for free - at www.scareyoursoul.com
Second, the Scare Your Soul book is out December 6 and is an interactive journey through seven areas of courageous action in your life. It is a tapestry of stories, science, writing prompts, and real-world challenges. You can order a copy at www.scareyoursoul.com/book
Adam Mendler is the CEO of The Veloz Group, where he co-founded and oversees ventures across a wide variety of industries. Adam is also the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one on one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. Adam has written extensively on leadership, management, entrepreneurship, marketing and sales, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities and non-profit organizations.
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