I recently went one on one with actress Sheila Houlahan.

Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. How did you get here? What experiences, failures, setbacks, or challenges have been most instrumental to your growth?

Sheila: My life has been quite the journey! As a kid performer, I was entrenched in the business at an early age, working professionally on the music side of the industry. As such, I had been blessed with an environment where I began to learn what it is to fail on a professional level.

I was constantly hearing about not letting your ego get in the way and the importance of “leaving your ego at the door”. Being professional meant being able to take notes, to pivot, to take direction all while making sure your work is consistent so that no matter what, you’re not the variable others are worried about.

I think the term “failure” is inherently problematic because it makes people automatically afraid of it; we have too many other deeply negative associations with the word from childhood, so it’s hard for the average person to consider that failure is actually a positive thing, and indeed, something necessary for growth.

Failure really is just a learning experience. It’s an opportunity to take a step back, check-in, and assess what went wrong and what could be improved next time. Failure is the laboratory where success is made.

My failures gave me the confidence to walk into any room unafraid. Doing hundreds of auditions/interviews for years helped desensitize me to the process and reinforced the value of not letting my ego drive the car, as it were. And the end result was my ability to just be myself in high-pressure situations, which is ultimately what any employer wants to see: who are you, and how can you help add value to what we’re building here?

Adam: In your experience, what are the common qualities among those who have been able to enjoy success in the entertainment industry? What advice do you have for those either trying to break in or advance?

Sheila: People that don’t internalize failure as a personal failing are the ones that end up being truly successful, not just in entertainment, but in the world at large. 

I’m not going to deny that a glaring problem with the entertainment industry (and the entire entrepreneurial world at large) is that it tends to require that you have liquid capital to be able to play. It’s extremely difficult for folks who don’t have access to financial support to be able to immediately go in and play because so many of your early jobs don't pay at all (or when they do they pay pennies, which is far from fair.)

I think when we talk about equity in the workplace, we have to start with a baseline of livable wages for every entry-level position (that inflates alongside inflation, please!) When you’re trapped in systemic financial abuse for decades, it’s hard enough to even get a decent roof over your head, let alone meditate on your ultimate ambitions and what success means to you. While we continue to suffocate the middle class, our society atrophies. I often think about how someone out there might be the mind that can help us cure and eradicate cancer if only they’d just been given the financial gift of getting to pursue their secret ambitions. What else have we lost in this rat race to the bottom?

On top of all of that, within the entertainment industry, you also must desensitize yourself to being considered as a product. You have to embrace failure as a net-positive experience and do a tremendous amount of internal growth to be competitive. That’s a lot for an individual to take on!

So many artists are sensitive souls, and too often I see incredible people using normal life experience as a reason to self-harm. That breaks my heart. The pressures of this world are too great, and when your job is your art, something created from your very soul…you need a tough shell to even survive. 

Where can people find a modicum of control in a field as subjective as art? I think when you're able to find happiness and success in the rhythm of your process, it will only lead to more success. The process has to become something that you get nerdy and passionate about, that you enjoy doing every single day. That's when the end results you're going for begin to manifest. 

Adam: What are the best lessons you have learned through your career as an actress that are applicable to those who will never earn a living in front of the camera?

Sheila: The daily audition was one of the most invaluable things I ever experienced in this business. I think about my friends who aren't performers and who maybe have done a handful of job interviews in their life, and the difference is that it's all so high-stakes for them. The more times you step into that room, the more quickly you’re able to let go of the salary, the opportunity promised before you and just perform at your best, fully present in the moment. You’ve got to lower the stakes for yourself internally, no matter how hungry you are for the work. You’ve got to take the power in that room and make it yours.

I think that is the key; the more that you can think, “okay, it's another room that I need to go and conquer” the better. Actors have a term called ‘booking the room’, which means you may not book the job, you may not land the role, but if everybody in the room is happy with your work, you'll get a job from those people eventually. That’s what networking truly is.

Adam: What is something you have witnessed up close or experienced that would shock fans? 

Sheila: Boy, is anyone shocked by anything these days? I mean… this is a tricky one to answer. 

I've seen people do some crazy stuff. One time on set, we were shooting downtown and this dude just walked onto set and said, “Hey, I'd like to be an actor in this film,” to which I said, “Who are you? Why are you here? What's going on?” And he goes, “Yeah, so if I want to act in this, like who do I talk to?” And I said, “Well, you talk to the casting director,” and he goes, “Cool, yeah, where are they?” I told him they weren’t on set because the film had already been cast! There’s no universe where a random person walking up is going to get a role.  It was just insane that he walked up and essentially crashed a job expecting that he would be handed an opportunity of a lifetime.

Adam: Who are the best leaders you have been around and what have you learned from them? 

Sheila: One particularly special film comes to mind. It was my first paying gig as an actor. It was just a short film, very small budget, not at all at the scale of projects you go to see in the theaters or on Netflix, but the director was so incredibly gifted at leading people, and it's something that I've been searching for in my onset experiences and business experiences ever since.

She just quietly led; she took the time to gather everybody together and went around the room having people introduce themselves and share who they were (instead of using the cringey corporate icebreakers that I think so many of us are used to.) She asked how people connected to the subject matter, and it turned into this beautifully engaging discussion about everybody's passion for why they were there. Not only did it bring everybody closer, but it helped craft the shared vision for the rest of the shoot. That was the safest I'd ever felt on a set and the most unified I’ve seen a team perform.

I think more leaders could take time to sit down with their entire team, or at least their entire executive team, to ask those questions and gauge how people are feeling and how they're connecting with the initiatives. The more you can get people on board with a shared value set, the better net results for everyone involved.

Adam: What are your three best tips applicable to entrepreneurs, executives, and civic leaders? 

Sheila: Number one: be kind. There is so much bitterness in this world, especially right now, and I'm finding that the past few years have lent themselves to becoming almost an excuse for people to treat each other poorly. Don't do that. Don't be part of the problem. Be a part of the solution: be kind. You are always going to catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Lead with kindness and you'll see how you quickly rally people to being on your side.

Number two: no opinion is too small. You never know who in your company or in your life is going to have that glimmer of wisdom. I'm constantly surprised by the people in my own life and community who sometimes come forward with just the right puzzle piece I need to be able to solve a specific problem. Don't be afraid to listen. There’s something beautiful in recognizing that you’re never going to know everything. Keep an open mind and truly listen, take in the opinions of those around you, even those who you may consider to not be at the same level as your station at your respective job or career. Those opinions are still valuable, and you never know what little gold nuggets you can find there in terms of inspiration for any particular problem.

Number three: follow your true north. I see a lot of people jumping onto “trends” in business. First, it was NFTs, then blockchain, and now web3…I see a lot of people trying to monetize in those sectors without any real value-add for the world at large, and it just looks desperate. Instead, focus on what it is that you ultimately want to do. Don't worry about whether it's “relevant” to the current zeitgeist or not. Just focus, keep your eyes on the goal that you originally set out to do, and recognize that sometimes what you're doing, even though it's been done before, brings new value because of the specific way you do it! Don’t engage with all the nonsense and noise around you. Just focus on your task at hand and trust that it is enough.

Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received?
Sheila: The single best piece of advice I've ever received is to always check on my “enoughness”. I got that from my dear friend Bonnie Gillespie. People self-sabotage when they feel that there's something about them that is lacking, or that they’re inherently a disappointment, etc. 

You are enough. If you believe you're enough, you're able to be more open and able to receive what the others around you are saying or expressing. 

Adam: What can anyone do to pay it forward? 

Sheila: Mentorship is everything. It’s something everyone can do regardless of income level and it's a beautiful way to create unity and strength between different entrepreneurial communities rather than only finding ways to compete. Teaching the next generation of thinkers is one of the most noble pursuits a human can follow.


Adam Mendler is an entrepreneur, writer, speaker, educator, and nationally-recognized authority on leadership. Adam is the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one on one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal-winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities, and non-profit organizations. Adam has written extensively on leadership and related topics, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. Adam teaches graduate-level courses on leadership at UCLA and is an advisor to numerous companies and leaders. A Los Angeles native, Adam is a lifelong Angels fan and an avid backgammon player.

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