I recently went one on one with Dr. Stephen Sideroff. Stephen is an Associate Professor at UCLA in the Department of Psychiatry & Biobehavioral Sciences, with a joint appointment in the Department of Rheumatology at UCLA’s School of Medicine. Stephen is also the Director of the Raoul Wallenberg Institute of Ethics and the author of The Path: Mastering the Nine Pillars of Resilience and Success and The Resilience Response.

Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. ​How did you get here? ​What experiences, failures, setbacks or challenges have been most instrumental to your growth? 

Stephen: From the start of my career, I’ve been interested in the neurobiological process of learning and memory. I wanted to understand how the brain worked, so I could help address how it can function better.  I started out in Brain research, being mentored by some of the pioneers of the field of neuroscience. But I quickly realized that I wanted to engage with humans – not animals – and wanted to touch the lives of the people I work with. (On the wall of one of the treatment centers I co-founded, and was the director of, we placed this saying, “Access to the Human Heart is a Sacred Honor”. )

So I applied for a post-doctoral fellowship in addiction from the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) and left my position as Assistant Professor at McGill University in Montreal. My wife and I spent the next year traveling in a camper through Europe and Africa, studying different cultures. Upon my return there was a message waiting for me in Paris from my old secretary: “Where are you, you were awarded the fellowship at UCLA”.  

At UCLA I studied the use of the opiate antagonist, Naltrexone on prevention of relapse along with looking at conditioned aspects of addiction. I also founded the certification course in addiction at UCLA. This led to one track of my career in addiction that continues to this day. I’ve pioneered effective treatment approaches that has included publishing the first and only controlled study using Neurofeedback for the treatment of addictions. Many treatment centers now use this model in their programs, all over the world.

My focus has been on researching and developing programs and training in the most needed areas of psychology. In addition to addiction, this has included stress and resilience. When I began doing executive stress management programs in 1980 I was responding to people crying out for relief from stress. But I quickly realized this was more complicated, as people would tell me how impactful my programs were, but failed to follow through. This led to my research on people’s ambivalence and resistance to managing their stress. Stress is, of course, an evolutionary survival mechanism. In addition, I realized that most success that people experienced was accompanied by stress. One of my early mentors, D.O. Hebb had coined the term: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” And I realized that for most of us, stress has unconsciously become associated with achieving success. Something we don’t want to tamper with.

This led me to shift my focus from stress to resilience, a more unimotivational concept. I’ve developed a comprehensive model of resilience along with a methodology for helping people cope and overcome stress. This is laid out in my last book, “The Path: Mastering the Nine Pillars of Resilience and Success”. 

I’ve developed training programs in mind/body medicine, biofeedback and neurofeedback that I’ve presented all over the world. I was the first Director of Biofeedback for the entire Republic of China in 2002 and helped establish behavioral medicine programs throughout the country. I was founder and director of the UCLA/Santa Monica Hospital “Stress Strategies” treatment and training program, as well as co-founder and clinical director of Moonview Treatment and Optimal Performance Center.

I have been teaching at UCLA since 1980 and currently hold a joint appointment as Associate Professor in the Departments of Psychiatry & Biobehavioral Sciences and Department of Rheumatology.

During the 1990’s I developed programs of peak performance in athletes. I became a founding member of the international group called, “The Mind Room”. I worked with the US Men’s National Soccer Team, the UCLA and Pepperdine men’s basketball teams, the UCLA women’s golf team and professional and Olympic individual athletes. These peak performance programs became the foundation for my work with executive peak performance. 

My lectures and programs have been well attended and well received, including “The Path”, an intensive and unique program for senior executives. People have said that my book and my programs have been “life-changing”.

Adam: What do you hope readers take away from your new book?

Stephen: My new book is designed to help people, on a day-to-day basis, in coping with the difficult life challenges and crises of the day. It lays out daily “steps” that are also designed to develop greater resilience in the reader (or listener). My goal is not to simply give information, but to present this information in a totally usable way. It takes into account people’s resistance to change and shows them “The Path”, a mechanism I designed to avoid the experience of overwhelming. Thus, instead of discouragement, the reader feels supported and experiences success in developing tools to deal with life stresses. At the same time, the book also helps develop a mindset of a leader and the feeling of being able to tackle difficult tasks to achieve their goals.

Adam: How can anyone best navigate and overcome obstacles, challenges, and setbacks?

Stephen: I have introduced the concept of “Primitive Gestalt Patterns”, neuropsychological patterns imprinted in the brain. These patterns are our adaptation to childhood lessons and environments that then lock us into non-productive ways of approaching life. My approach is to help the reader identify the pattern that no longer serves them. In its place, I guide them through a process of developing a healthy pattern that allows for new learning and breaking through old boundaries. Through this process, they develop greater trust and confidence in themselves and stop listening to the old negative messages.

Adam: How can leaders optimize their daily performance?

Stephen: In my work with leaders, I help them recognize self-destructive patterns that are deeply embedded in their behavior and thinking. This is a particular talent of mine: gaining the trust of leaders so they take necessary risks, become vulnerable, and open to new ways of looking at everything in their lives. This “awakening” opens new doors and new approaches that are more successful. Once this is accomplished, the next step is to put this into daily action, through a process of setting goals and committing to giving 100% and excellence in their follow-through.

Adam: What do you believe are the defining qualities of an effective leader? How can leaders and aspiring leaders take their leadership skills to the next level? 

Stephen: In my work, I refer to 360-degree leadership. This means leading by example. It also means that a priority is to raise up everyone that the leader touches in their lives; not just thinking about themselves or the bottom line. This approach creates the greatest leverage for growth and development. It also creates “cultures of leadership”, in which others learn to take responsibility, again, enhancing the results of a leader. My approach is also sourced from the new knowledge of Quantum Physics, that looks at the potential of possibilities and translates this knowledge into the power of intention.

Adam: What are your three best tips applicable to entrepreneurs, executives and civic leaders? 

Stephen: My three best tips: 1) integrity is when the “you” you project out into the world is the same as the “you” that you hold privately inside yourself. In other words, be comfortable with who you are and be willing to have others see who you are. When you come from this place of integrity more people will listen to you and follow you. 2) Get into the habit of moving toward danger and challenges. These are your greatest opportunities for growth and success, 3) In all relationships come from a place of gratitude and “win-win” above all else.

Adam: On a scale of 1-10, how important is ethics when it comes to leadership and why?

Stephen: As noted, I’ve indicated how important I believe integrity is. Right now many believe that ethics is negotiable and subjective. I am the director of the Raoul Wallenberg Institute of Ethics where a person’s ethics is a priority. So, I’d put it at 10.

Adam: What are your best tips on how to manage stress and your mental health?

Stephen: How to manage stress is a subject I’ve been researching and teaching for the last 40 years. First thing to realize is that stress itself is an important part of life. Most of our successes have been accompanied by stress. My early mentor, D.O. Hebb, back in the 50’s coined the term, “Neurons that fire together, wire together”. Thus, people have resistance to managing stress. My first step has been to reframe the issue as one of resilience, which doesn’t carry that same ambivalence that stress does. Then I have my model of resilience that has 9 components: Relationship: with self, with others, with something greater; Organismic Balance and Mastery: Physical, mental, emotional; and engagement: presence, flexibility, and power, which I define as the ability to get things done. These are laid out in my last book, “The Path: Mastering the Nine Pillars of Resilience and Success”..

Adam: How can anyone develop a winning mindset?

Stephen: The development of a winning mindset is possible for anyone to achieve. Most important is to accept your starting point. For many, this may be a negative mindset, due to lessons of childhood. This acceptance helps combat self-sabotage, and resistance and allows for slow but steady growth of a positive and winning mindset. The other part of the process is to establish a model of the winning mindset that includes always finding a positive framework, letting go of negativity, recognizing old patterns that get in the way, and switching to the new and healthier pattern. Making sure to appreciate your progress.

Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received?

Stephen: Best piece of advice: eliminate your “back door.” Excuses are not acceptable. Don’t give yourself an “out.”

Adam: Is there anything else you would like to share?

Stephen: An important part of my programs is finding a healthy “internal parent” and grounding oneself from this place. This includes love, acceptance, compassion, support, and self-care. My most recent book, “The Path: Mastering the Nine Pillars of Resilience and Success” presents my comprehensive model of resilience and a new methodology for developing greater resilience. It’s available now at Amazon. My new book, “The Resilience Response”, will be published in November 2022. My website, which offers free resilience downloads and a “resilience challenge” is www.DrStephenSideroff.com.


Adam Mendler is the CEO of The Veloz Group, where he co-founded and oversees ventures across a wide variety of industries. Adam is also the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one on one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. Adam has written extensively on leadership, management, entrepreneurship, marketing and sales, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities and non-profit organizations.

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