Thrive Global: One On One With Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger
I spoke to Patti Stanger, the star and executive producer of The Millionaire Matchmaker, about her best advice. Here are some excerpts:
Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. What is something about you that would surprise people?
Patti: I am shy in social settings. I am more of an observer before I jump in and then once I feel comfortable I can become the alpha. I am definitely somebody who researches a situation first before I dip my toes in.
Adam: How did you get here? What failures, setbacks or challenges have been most instrumental to your growth?
Patti: There have been so many setbacks and failures along the way. Most people would look at me and say I should be further along on the branding side, but producing takes a lot of time and I'm not only the talent I am the producer who created the concepts from soup to nuts. When I was first approached to do a reality show in the really days of reality, which was pretty much 13 yrs ago. I had many different contracts at various different networks such as ABC, only to be cancelled at the last minute because the president was fired. This is standard in our industry when one person who is at the helm leaves the regime often the deals on the table can fall apart. It took many tries to get, not only the show right, but to the right network as I am forever grateful to Bravo for putting me on the map, but it was not smooth nor easy and every time my agent told me I'll never get a show because the idea had been out there too long, I'd say wait watch and learn because as far as I was concerned Valentine's Day came every year and nobody was leading the love brigade and it eventually paid off. I think one of the messages I received was never give up and don’t listen to other people when you know you have an ideal that will help the world.
Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received?
Patti: There's going to be a lot of people that tell you that you can't do what you want to do or achieve your dreams, but only you know that. Nobody else. The minute you start listening to other people you lose your window to achieve. It's best to keep everything to yourself.
Adam: What is your best advice when it comes to dating?
Patti: My advice when you're young is to date until you mate, meaning go out as much as you can and see what fits - use matchmakers, online, friends and family. Hobbies and travel are a great way to connect.
As you age, you lose patience, and with divorce, kids and life you don’t want to settle, so you need someone to screen for you, as it’s time-consuming. You are no longer willing to settle because you don’t have the time. That’s why matchmakers really are your best option, as we give you exactly what you want. Rich or poor, there is a matchmaker for everyone - or you can read my book and become your own matchmaker and do it yourself.
Adam: What are your three best business tips?
Patti:
1. Don’t micromanage but run a tight ship.
2. Always research everything before making decisions.
3. Listen to your gut - it is your guidance system telling you the truth.
Adam: In your experience, what are the defining qualities of an effective leader? How can leaders and aspiring leaders take their leadership skills to the next level?
Patti: I think one of the defining qualities of a leader is to never forget where you came from. I was once a personal assistant, just like everybody else working my way up the ranks and I knew that any day it could be taken away from me, so I wasn’t above rolling my sleeves up to show my staff or my crew what we had to do to get things done in a timely fashion. Also, I think having an open door policy and letting people come to you without fear with great ideas is a sign of leadership. I worked for many entrepreneurs in my previous years who lead with fear and I loathed and despised them for it. I like to lead with love.
Adam: What are your hobbies and how have they shaped you?
Patti: My first hobby and love was photography. It was my minor in college, which shaped me to become a producer. And then cooking is my true love. If I wasn't a producer, I'd be a chef.
Adam: What is one thing everyone should be doing to pay it forward?
Patti: Mentoring and shadowing, but not to the point where it comes full on exhaustion. Each person has to nourish the other.
Adam Mendler is the CEO of The Veloz Group, where he co-founded and oversees ventures across a wide variety of industries. Adam is also the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one on one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. Adam has written extensively on leadership, management, entrepreneurship, marketing and sales, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities and non-profit organizations.
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