Adam’s Top Mentorship Tips
Identify the right mentor for you. As important as it is to find a mentor, it is even more important to find the right mentor for you. Look inward to understand not only what you need from a mentor, but what set of experiences, personality, and communication style would be ideal for you.
Look for people with whom you share a common bond. A potential mentor is going to be far more receptive to your outreach if they have something in common with you, such as a shared hobby, a shared alma mater, or shared friends. The more substantive, meaningful, and personal the better, but something is better than nothing, so look for any type of common ground.
Don’t be afraid to reach out. There is no harm in hearing no or in not receiving a reply. If you don’t reach out, the answer is already “no.” Hearing “yes” can change the trajectory of your career and your life. Sometimes we get lucky and great mentors fall into our laps, but more often than not, we need to make our own luck by putting ourselves out there and not being afraid of failure or rejection.
The art is in the ask. How you reach out to a potential mentor will play a significant role in determining their receptiveness to your outreach. When cultivating a new connection, do not ask that person to be your mentor. Instead, ask for a short phone call, Zoom, or coffee, and go from there. The less you ask for, the more likely you will hear “yes.”
Focus on providing value. Mentors are human beings and the fundamental rules of human relationships apply to mentor-mentee relationships. In every successful relationship, both parties need to receive value. For some mentors, the ability to give back and pay it forward is value enough, but others - consciously or subconsciously - want more. Every person can provide value to someone else if they try, and mentees focused on delivering value will be more successful at cultivating successful mentorship relationships.
Mentorship relationships cannot be faked. At the heart of every successful mentorship relationship is a strong personal connection between a mentor and a mentee. Be proactive in pursuing and maintaining relationships in which both parties genuinely enjoy the other’s company, and if the chemistry just isn’t there, don’t try to force it.
Mentorship relationships can and should evolve. As people change, what they bring to and want from a relationship changes. For example, if you pursue a new career path or reach a new level of seniority, you may need a new mentor. Oftentimes you can become a mentor to your mentor by utilizing your knowledge and expertise to help them. Never discard a relationship with a mentor, but allow it to run its natural course.
Embrace mini mentors. As important as it is to pursue traditional mentorship relationships, surrounding yourself with mini mentors can significantly enhance your chances of achieving success. In contrast to a traditional mentor, a mini mentor is a person who you might only speak to on occasion - once a year, once every few years, or even once - but whose targeted guidance and advice can potentially dramatically change your thinking and approach.
Mentorship can come from people you don’t know. Some of the most successful people I have interviewed told me that their mentors are people who they have never met - such as Oprah Winfrey and Steve Jobs - but greatly admired and studied from afar. They read their books, listened to their interviews, and soaked in their advice, and in turn, received career-changing wisdom, guidance, and “mentorship.”
Great mentors don’t tell you what to do; they teach you how to think. If your mentor tells you what to do and things don’t work out, you may become resentful. Even if things do work out, the decision was never really yours in the first place. The role of a mentor is to provide their mentee with the tools to be successful - to advise, to guide, and to empower - while ensuring that their mentee retains ownership over their decisions and their life.
Additional Resources
Basketball legend Bill Walton on mentorship
Fortune 500 CEO Judy Marks on mentorship
Grammy Award winner Tricky Stewart on mentorship
The Power Of Mentorship: Lessons From Mike Trout, Moonlight And Warren Buffett